I feel like in situations where my sense of humor can shine through, like new environments with new people, I really hit it off and make great friends.
However, when it comes to encountering established social circles that aren’t inherently welcoming, I struggle a lot, freeze up, and fail to connect. It’s like I lose my voice and just try to stay out of the way, and it adds to the perception that I’m just a “weird dude.” It’s a cycle: I don’t feel like making new friends is easy, so I shy away and focus on my duties (in a work or learning environment), and then time passes and it just gets more weird for me.
Other times though, it seems like I *do* make good friends even with established friend groups, so I don’t really know what I’m doing. I guess it just seems like I need a chance, but it seems like truly sociable people create their own opportunities, you know?
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When I meet a group of people for the first time, I usually just say hi then become quiet for a while to learn the lay of the land. See how they treat each other and what lines they don’t cross. I’ll chime in every once in a while and after a while I’ll just open up.
Sometimes if the people there and I have different views or we just don’t mesh than we just don’t mesh. Off to a new group!