If you’re friends parents said that about you, upon meeting you for the first time, what else would you want them to say, If you interviewed for a job, and someone told you after words, that they thought you were very nice and respectful, it’s not a sure sign you’re going to get the job, but it meant you had to have at least presented yourself in a good way. Or, if someone says, “I wanna be around people who are kind, and normal”, I would take both kind and normal to be good, but I’m probably rather get called kind and unique. The last example would be if you saying “I can always be kinder in general, lol” and someone that doesn’t know you puts their two cents in, says, “You seem extremely kind, thoughtful, etc”, I would think that’s great, especially someone that doesn’t even know you says that.
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personally I never liked being thought of as nice because i equated it to being thought of as a doormat
I appreciated the word kind because it acknowledges the boundaries between myself and others
however; in order to truly leave an impact on me – it would have to be phrases like
– you matter
– your presence left a positive and favourable impression on us
– you make me feel safe
– i love when you’re here
– I want you to know that you have truly made a positive impact
– your kindness never goes unnoticed
– thank you for always doing the right thing even when the right thing is hard
– thank you for being so bold and brave
– we missed you
– i am proud of you
– thank you for being a friend
– you are so smart!
– your honesty and authenticity is truly refreshing
and when two of my aunts call me daughter in my language – I don’t want everyone to call me daughter but I like when they call me daughter
the key is to say something that isn’t said often and use words and phrases that make people —feel— like they matter
it’s also a gentle and simple safe way that’s sincere and rarely said so you truly feel the impact