So I have been seeing this person for a little over 2 months now. Both in 30s and met in dating app.
Felt very comfortable around him and talked everyday over text & facetime ever since we started talking. Met a little less then 10 times. Met almost every week, but a lot of times I had to kinda bring it up when we are gonna meet.
He lives a little far like an hour away. Mostly he came near me. I offered to come 1-2 times but he ended up coming to my area. I stayed over at his place once when he invited.
My feeling builds slowly and I feel it growing. When we had a quick talk after a month or so, he said he doesn’t know what he wants really. I made it clear that I’m not to casual dating and I want to be in a long term relationship from the beginning but not sure exactly what I want in terms of marriage and etc. We are not exclusive but he said he is not seeing anyone at this point.
I think he gave me all the answers but also I am confused. Should I ask him straight again if he’s not into relationship and want something more casual. Or should I just stop it here.
4 comments
Probably just stop or give an ultimatum. I know everyone reads the word ultimatum in a bad light but sometimes it can help helpful. Either he will be your LTR or he will not. Get your answer and move on
Would I be correct in deducing that you are not keen on continuing with casual dating for much longer?
It sounds like you haven’t directly asked him to be exclusive? So why don’t you start with this? Maybe he just needs a bit of direction from your end. Otherwise, if he says he doesn’t want to be exclusive, then you know where he stands and you can move on to finding someone else who is a better match up for you.
After 2 months, he should know what he wants. A non-answer is an answer in itself. At the very least, after 2 months I’d expect exclusivity. And exclusivity isn’t a big commitment either.
Since he’s not seeing anyone else, it should be a no brainer. If however, he’s still avoiding giving you a proper answer, well then you have your answer.
He gave you the answer when he says he “doesn’t know what he wants”, and he should have known if he lured you on for two months. Not telling you is suspicious itself.
He’s not good for you because he can say he wants an LTR one day, just casual dating the next day, or just not see anybody.
Bottom line: get rid of this idiot.