So, to be fair this whole thing is pretty new. We’ve been talking for about 4.5 months, and we’ve only made the relationships official for about 1.5 months now. And admittedly, I fall in love fairly quick (not just with anyone of course). And, naturally, as I got to know him more and we talk more, I can say I love him, that I know.
​
One night, though, I slipped up while hanging up. I had said “good night, love you”. I tried to ignore it, but I felt so embarrassed (it’s the first time I’ve actually SAID it with anyone really) so I texted saying “sorry, I said it out of habit”, to which he responded “oh it’s ok, I figured as much and ignored it because I didn’t wanna embarrass you or anything like that”. While I was relieved he didn’t feel awkward, it got me a little bummed that it wasn’t reciprocated. Like I know he likes me a bunch, but I just have a good gut feeling love isn’t in his cards as of now (which, again is fair considering it’s a new relationship). And yes, I understand it takes different times for everyone, and I’m perfectly understanding of that. But it got me wondering, how much time is reasonable to know? Again, I know it’ll vary, but sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me and I don’t want to be waiting forever and ever.
​
I know it’s a silly question, it’s just my first relationship ever so I tend to overthink. Thank you
​
2 comments
Love is just a word.
Love is more of an action.
What does his actions say about you? Does he care about you? Go out of his way to make you feel special? Does he pay attention to your feelings and genuinely respects what you have to say? Actually giving a dam about your relationship experience with you.
I can say I love you all I want… But if I treat you like garbage, does that give any meaning to my words?
It doesn’t.
Everyone is different. I was ready to say it within couple of months of my relationship, whereas it took my fiancé over a year to say it. 6 years later, happily engaged.
Relationships are not a race, they’re a marathon.
Don’t chase milestones, chase the relationship perfection. The rest will fall into place when its ready.
Words are just words, not actions. A person will show you love you, not just tell you. And putting a time frame on it is stilly. Sorry I know your still young & a bit naive maybe, but don’t let your insecurities and anxiety take over. Pay attention to how he treats you and talks to you. The little things he does or doesn’t do.