For those who have gone through this, it’s a bit crappy that you could be the same person as before but people would treat you differently

39 comments

  1. People are attracted to confidence. Losing weight can make you more confident in yourself which leads to people approaching you more.

  2. It’s not about the weight because there’s more acceptance towards different sizes and more people aren’t skinny compared to perhaps previous generations as there’s been a shift in the media and public portrayal of women’s body types and now men’s too (i.e. “fat acceptance” and “body diversity”)

    However, I think you have to dress nicely and put in the effort to look and smell good if you want people to be kind to you and more receptive towards you

    As an example – if you smell foul then nobody will ever want to approach you even if you’re skinny and look like a model

  3. Somewhat, I’m over 6’2” and reached 227 in grad school, became a certified nursing assistant and got down to 157, looked like something out of fight club, definitely approached more after that

  4. Ya ppl treat you differently based off appearance fr

    I’ve always been kinda skinny but also unattractive. till i started working on my looks & I am suddenly not invisible & people treat me like a real person 🤠

  5. Yeah, people are shallow. Most people, but strangers especially, will treat you much differently depending on how attractive they find you.

    Some say it’s a confidence thing. Personally, I’m way more confident now than I was while skinny. Still got *way* more attention then.

    The silver lining is that you know the people who *don’t* treat you differently are keepers.

  7. Yea but not because of them but because I gained more confidence in myself. I still can’t keep a conversation and can barely speak in conversation

  8. yes. i used to be athletic build and people treated me well esp girls. when i gained weight… bruh i don’t get that attention no more but people did not treat me badly. when i lost weight people have been nicer to me.

  9. The halo affect is very real my dude. It’s not fair but it’s a human reaction, it is what it is

  13. Not fat but I would always get fun of for being skinny, was 6’3 and 135 pounds.. I’m about 175 now and people don’t say much about it any more. And im almost 25 now so im hoping people will start treating me with more respect than I used to be. But I can relate to fat people cause I know what it’s like to be treated differently for your weight.

  14. Yes 100%, since Covid I started working out and over those three years went from slightly overweight/ chubby to very fit and muscular. I also got braces to fix my very crooked teeth. Since none of my old clothes fit I used this opportunity to developed my personal style with new clothes and haircut. People are wayyy nicer and more helpful to me it’s like every social interaction is switched to easy mode. My work has also gone through several rounds of layoffs and I was the only one on my team to keep a my job and even got a raise. I fully believe this is due to my appearance and the confidence that’s come along with it.

  16. Yes and no?

    I’ve noticed that the kind of people who dress nicely and wear Apple watches are more friendly…

    And the kind of men who used to make my skin crawl from the catcalls and ridiculous pickup lines seem to have vanished into the woodworks 🤣

  17. Absolutely. I lost a whole bunch of weight 6 years ago and the difference was night and day. Hit a stressful patch and put it back on plus some and it’s back to how it was.

  18. Yes. It’s normal. I don’t let it bother me. I know how it is. Same with attire. You wear clearly old clothing, in comparison to wearing new designer clothing, people treat you differently.

    [+]

  19. 5’2”f went from 296lbs down to 168lbs, still going lower. It’s weird how men will RUN to doors to open them for me, or oddly gaze at me at the grocery store. Didn’t do that when I was pushing 300. Oof. Ouch.

  20. Yeah, better looking people get treated better. It’s the way of the world and no amount of complaining will change that. But I think fit a better word. Skinny doesn’t always equal sexy. Fitness does as long as it’s not over done. You start to look too old if you are tooooooooo fit.

  21. I used to be 5’10”, a lithe 130 2.5 years ago – started a new med to help my mental well being, and gained nearly 100 lbs. I am a fashion designer – take a wild guess at how differently I was treated before and after…….. I’ve had to work FUCKING hard to prove myself as a fat female designer (who’s also disabled) – i really learned who only wanted me as their friend as eye candy versus actually liking me for me (when I was skinny I modelled and it was SO easy to get work as a skinny bald model with tattoos and easily receive flattery left right and centre). I don’t like seeing the world for what it actually is – mean, callous, and self-serving. But it is.

  22. This is so true. I am 6 ft 3 and gained weight after I graduated high school and was no longer running up and down a basketball court for 3 hours every day. I went from a solid 232 playing weight to a working stiff, office job having 315 pounds. I was only 24.

    I dumped my sedentary partner and got a life and my own apartment. I lost 105 pounds it took me 2 years but I did it by watching my diet and taking aerobics classes 3 to 5 times per week.

    I couldn’t believe the difference in the way i was treated. As tall as I am the more weight I carry the less like a woman I am treated. I have had employess at Home Depot laugh when I asked them to put a roll of carpet in the back of my truck. They looked at me like do it yourself.

    In the 25 years since i lost the weight I had 3 kids and was married for 20 years thus gaining my weight back. Its crazy how people treat me differently in public and elsewhere. I held a volunteer position with other volunteers and those that were thinner and fit were treated so warm and friendly while those that were heavier would be ignored! I am not kidding. We were peers, equal on all levels except weight.

  24. Yes 100% went from 200 to around 160. I’m 5’8. I’m not skinny, I’m like, just barely in the normal weight range for my height. People smile at me more, people are kinder to me. I was only bigger for a couple years (health issues) and it was like I was invisible. It was actually kind of nice in a way!

  25. Not even that they are more attracted to me . They are just kinder and treat me like a person

  26. Yeah if you scroll through r/loseit you’ll probably see some posts from people who’ve experienced this

  27. Definately, less disrespect and a lot of congratulations from people who talked shit about you. It‘s kinda funny to go through this actually.

  28. It’s…. Called…. Respect. You finally started respecting yourself so others will too. It really is that simple. Fit people respect the fuck out of fat people in the gym. Those still in line at McDonalds- not so much.

  30. Welcome to this world.

    People will treat you better, if you look better. They will treat you waaaaaay better, if they’re also attracted to you.

  31. I have twice lost over 100lbs. I found strangers were much friendlier, but the opposite of friends. My friends who loved going out drinking with me, and meeting guys, and trusted me completely with their boyfriends suddenly behaved differently. I hated it. Guy friends complimented and congratulated me on my weight loss, noting how much work it must of took, and they were proud of me. Female friends said nothing at all. Seemed that they always looked at me as “non-competition”, because they had the looks, and I had the personality. When faced with the fact I had personality, and might have the looks as well…they became ill tempered and catty. Suddenly I could feel a real coldness from some of my best friends, and even my parents. My parents had bullied me my entire life about my weight while only providing garbage fatty, high calorie food. When I lost weight, they were extremely angry they couldn’t hold it over my head any longer. Boyfriends seemed to want me to gain the weight back as well. Being fat was so much easier socially, but so much harder out in the world. Total mind fuck.

  32. This is anecdotal, but jives with others’ experiences:

    I have a friend who went through this. Was always overweight, but finally had enough and busted their ass to lose 150ish pounds. They said the attitude they get has been night and day, to the point it bothers them. Same person on the inside, but more people like them…

  34. I’ve noticed this with weight loss / getting more fit.

    I’ve also noticed if I do hair and makeup as a woman I am treated by men and women much nicer. And also actually get service, instead of ignored at restaurants, stores, etc.

    I actually have had strangers approach and talk to me the last year or two. I hadn’t had that in several years when I was struggling with alcohol abuse and was obese. It was startling the first few times to be honest.

  35. It’s not crappy at all.

    Being fat should not be applauded. It’s unhealthy and gives you an early death.

    People are attracted to attractive people, big surprise there. Fat people are generally at their most unattractive. Meaning, if you see a fat hot person (they’d be even hotter if they lost weight). Meaning being fat makes you uglier and less healthy looking.

    It’s also a relatively reliable indicator of people’s lifestyle habits…

    So, no, it isn’t crappy. Go date another fat person if you think it’s crappy.

  36. YES!
    i lost 17 kgs and saw a change in the way everyone behaved with me. boys, girls and even relatives. i liked the attention at first but really thought it was unfair and realized what assholes some of my friends and acquaintances were

  37. I haven’t had this experience yet.

    But, I watched as people stopped being friendly and became unapproachable as I gained weight.

  38. But I bet your not the same person as before, you look better, you’re more confident and probably more outgoing.

  39. Yep.when your attractive ppl perceve everything you do as better. So if your socialy awkward they’re more likely to comfort and include you and your perceived as cute/adorkable rather than off-putting. It’s effed up.

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