i lost my p in v virginity a week ago and had sex again yesterday with the same partner and both times it was so painful that we had to stop and he never came. i feel like we did everything right – we had lots of foreplay and he ate me out before both times so i was super wet + we used LOTS of lube – but when he puts it in it hurts so much. even when we go slowly it hurts. i even cried a little bit at one point… we tried lots of positions and it didn’t seem to make much difference what position we did. i still haven’t made him cum and he struggles to cum from head alone so i’m just worried that i won’t be able to satisfy him 🙁 any advice would be greatly appreciated !
edit: the pain is a mix of a sort of burning/chafing pain around the opening with a deeper pain when he hits my vaginal walls
3 comments
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There are a number of different things that can cause pain.
Sometimes your body can react poorly to an ingredient in the lube, and it can cause a burning sensation, if you don’t usually use this particular lube and aren’t sure you are comfortable with it, you might want to spot-test it and see if that’s causing irritation. If not, then you can rule that out.
A burning / chafing pain around the opening can sometimes be caused by the skin stretching. If you are not at all experienced with penetration, like you have never done solo play with fingers or toys as wide as the penis you are trying to take in, it could simply be stretching too much too fast. You can test out if this is what is causing the pain by placing two fingers inside and then gently pulling them apart and seeing if this replicates this type of painful sensation. Also, if this is what is going on, you can very gradually / gently stretch your skin out over several sessions with minimal pain, and then when you get to where you can take in as much as you need comfortably, you can go back to PIV sex and have it be easier and more comfortable.
If you used a lot of lube that probably rules out chafing due to dryness. Sometimes a chafing pain can be caused by pulling or pinching of sensitive parts of the labia around the opening, but usually these would not manifest like the way you described the pain so I don’t think that is what is causing it.
Other things that can cause a burning sensation during sex include infections such as bacterial vaginosis or a fungal infection.
Do any of these explanations seem to fit more than the others? Hopefully this can help you troubleshoot a bit. Usually experimenting with solo touch is the best way to troubleshoot this kind of thing.