Deciding Between 2 Guys

I’m female (21) and for the last 5 months I’ve been casually dating two guys (I’ll call them A and M). I met both in May, M in person through a work event and A online. M is very handsome, charming, and we’ve been steadily dating once every week or so since we first met. He’s very thoughtful with dates and I even met his parents. A is also very handsome, a little more shy, but a lot more obsessed with me than M is. He recently flew over a thousand miles to meet me in person and soon I’ll be visiting him.

I hadn’t felt too guilty until recently about dating both since it’s unofficial with neither, but as it’s getting more serious thinking about choosing one gets me really anxious. I like them both a lot equally, but in different ways. I keep trying to weigh the downsides and upsides of a relationship with each of them but I still cannot figure out who I should go forward with.

M (upsides):
•way closer to me location-wise
•very social, good with family
•thoughtful on dates
•infrequent dates (good for me to focus on school/work)

M (downsides):
•not as attentive as A
•also very busy with school and work
•still lack that comfortable relationship feeling
•slight worry that he may flirt with other girls even in a relationship? (Like I said he’s very charming)

A (upsides):
•very attentive towards me
•I feel comfortable with him
•hardworking and provider mentality
•Helps me with small expenses (I don’t ask for this, he always insists!)
•Pays for travel to me and for me to visit

A (downsides)
•long distance
•almost too attached (talking about our future, kids)
•Needs a lot of attention (we call for hours each day)
•Not as social as M, family may not like him as much I fear due to shyness

I’m very aware that it’s not fair for me to continue dating both of them as it’s getting more serious! If you have an insights on how I should go about choosing or what you’d do in my situation I’d love to hear it🩷