My girlfriend (30F) and I (26M) have been together for over a year now. We’ve been through a lot in our relationship. And we are a very good place right now but some changes just got me worried. We used to be intimate all the time and now it’s changed from almost everyday to just once a week recently. Shes has been very stressed with a lot of things in her life. She used to never turn me down, but now she does. It was her birthday recently, and she had already made plans with family and friends, and I asked her if we could do a date ourselves. She said yes. I assumed we would spend time together, but I guess I just needed her to verbally say it. So our date was today, and it didn’t go through. She wasn’t having the best day, but since I wasnt included in her birthday plans I had a feeling beforehand it wasn’t gonna happen.. we argued about it and she started asking me who’s birthday is it? Which made me feel like she didn’t have to spend it with me if she didn’t want to.. which is true, but makes me feel like I’m not important.. Am I overthinking? What can I do in this situation?
TLDR: My girlfriend and I’s date didn’t follow through and now I feel like I’m not important.
6 comments
That’s definitely worrisome, and it’s not good that she’s deflecting/ minimizing. Not looking great
You’re not overthinking. It’s good and important to be able to express yourself when it comes to things like this.
Try talking to her, using i sentences like “I feel like we aren’t making time as a couple anymore and there’s too much distance between us.”
I would back off on the sex. The sex is a symptom of what’s going on.
But it’s also pretty common for sex drive to even out, at the start it’s new and fresh and a lot of sex is pretty common. But it will mellow out after a year. So this might be her natural inclination anyway.
Although, I can’t speculate really.
Yes you’re way overthinking this, relationships go like this after a while, it’s a natural progression
Birthdays are fun. You get gifts but also generally get to do what you want for the day, like skip work or go to a special restaurant or activity. 30 is a big birthday, I made sure to spend mine with my loved ones. But 30 is a big birthday, you could be happy on yours while another person’s birthday could be filled with pain.
Unfortunately it sounds like she’s losing interest in your relationship. Have you tried discussing your concerns with her? It may be time to bow out gracefully.
One year together and she’s not trying to include you in birthday plans? Yeah that’s not a good sign. Sure sex is going to become less often over time but it’s not normal to plan your SO out of birthday plans, especially after a year.