Straight men: How do you show affection to your male friends?

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  2. Quality time, usually at a bar or while watching a sporting event. Buying a round, not asking to be payed back, simple things.

  6. Insults. The more humiliating, personalized, and over the line it is, the more affection it’s signalling. It’s toxic, but that’s all we got.

  9. Depends on the friend.

    One friend who I’ve grown close to recently we knod.

    One friend who I have been friends with for a long time we hug.

  12. Usually the typical heavy back-slapping embraces and handshakes.

    Although what I know I should do but don’t nearly as much is simply hit them up with a “hey dude how are you?”. I think I take my few friends I still have for granted and that goes both ways.

  15. By making fun of eachother and not taking ourselves too seriously, laughing and joking constantly, it’s bonding time

  16. Be there for them and let them talk to me about their issues and support them anyway I can

    I don’t need to tell them I love and cherish them. I show it through actions

    But when I’m a bit drunk. Me and my best friend have told each other how much we care for one another but most of the time. It’s through actions like being there for them when they need it.

    I had one of my male friends open up to me about his childhood abuse and was in tears. I listened to him and was there for him and he ended up hugging me and telling me he loved me (As a friend of course)

    Plus another one of my friends met a woman at a music festival and months later was gonna travel 4 hours to meet her again and was very scared that she would reject him and told me he is thinking of blowing the date off. I gave him encouragement and he ended up meeting her and it went amazing. Now his in a happy relationship with her and lives with her.

    I’m always there for my friends (female friends too)

    We also banter each other but that’s just because we enjoy making each other laugh. It’s all light hearted fun.

    I’m happy when I’m just around them and I know they feel the same way when they are around me.

  17. Hugs, making fun of them, scruffing the hair, the occasional nipple twist, kiss on the forehead, cupping of the balls. A lot of ‘love you man’ when the catch up ends. Depends on where we are, and how long the night has been.

  24. In person, hugs and tell them I love them. Not in person, send them a shit ton of memes, send them a picture of my beer and say miss you man love you.

    Had a talk with a friend about suicide. We both almost took our lives. Never underestimate how much it means to let someone you think about them.

  26. Ask them about work. Hug them if they need it, listen to their issues. Just be a sounding board where they aren’t judged. There’s a big difference between women and their friends as opposed to men and their friends. Someone they can vent to is a huge bonus when the norm is to bottle your feelings. A lot of men have to ride on a white horse on shining armor for their families to provide and no one at their job or their home asks them how they feel. We wonder why men commit suicide at a higher rate? Well they have support system like women. Women are great at supporting each other and circling the wagons around a woman in distress. Men… and I’ve seen it…. Most times it’s suck it up and deal with it.

  28. Depends on the level of affection.

    For me a long hug is for goodbye, I recently said goodbye to a person I consider a little brother. That is the kind of affection warranted for this type of hug. Very special. Outside of my dad, god bless his soul, I have only probably hugged two men like this, once, and it was trully warranted and heartfelt

    A pat on the back or two, or a pat on the shoulder depending on the social context is good and nice too.

    Handshake is formal. Strong handshake is assertive.Handshake, twist to armwrestling handshake and chest bump or chad-hug+par is bro-level. I don’t do this with most friends.

    Forehead to forehead and back of the head clasp+harsh or motivational talk is usually bro-code for hyping up in sport-fighting situations

    Pat and trap squeeze is for when buddy is really down, usually followed by some bro talk or chilling to create a comfortable environment. Followed usually by some type of gym activity or similar, to blow off steam and be able to talk stoically, without too much emotion charging us.

    Also the arm squeeze. Usually is a form of congrats, respect, pride for the man in front of you. Can be compounded with a handshake if more formal-cordial

    The opposite sex does not understand how much these acts mean. Men are most often than not, stoic by nature outside the obvious same-sex relationships, so this amount of contact means a lot when it is compounded with a true friendship or a true moment understandimg.

    Straight males, on average, are not touch—feely beings between one another and we do not like it. It feels icky. It felt lowkey weird for me since I was a young kid, well before societal norms were imposed on me, when we were all just “kids” and I just saw girls as a bit prettier and more annoying kids.

    So yeah, I guess this is how I comunicate different types and levels of affection or broski-ness

    ​

    If we are talking actual shows of bro-love and not just body language, usually chilling in some sort of safe environment is the best way to comunicate. For me as an ex-athlete and still active lifter, with my buddy , the gym or post gym chilling is a great setting to get things straight or talk about issues.

    A coffee-date is good too, we can talk more mundane things. It can be more impersonal too, if it is not a buddy-buddy person But somebody you appreciate nevertheless.

    Usually listening is the bro-code and offering advice in a non-judgemental way, laced with some mocking and some insulting, if we are close. Usually it gets more coded the more intimate the people know each other. With my 3 best friends, everything can and will be an inside joke, either dirty or stupid, or exceptionally convoluted. And that usually shifts the balance to a more playful or stupid banter-like rapport.

    Half of the battle of showing love to your friends is shifting their mood from doubt to assertiveness and from sadness to problem solving. The other half is getting them from serious to silly goose mode and from average-thinking to conquering the world type of mood.

    So all in all, listening, chilling, a bit of hand clasping and bumping around, some fun and inside jokes and conquer-the-world thpe of mood makes men gel, on average

    Apes-together-strong. Simple. Wholesome.

  29. I just tell them how much I appreciate them. It’s pretty quick, not everything has to be super heart felt. I’ll just be having fun with them and thank them for hanging out with me. I took this manner from an old friend who did the same to me.

  33. My straight best friend (I’m gay) says “what’s up Gaylord” and I think that’s beautiful.

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