I (24M) matched with a 26F about 2 weeks ago. We really hit it off and met for a date to get food and drinks about a week in. That went great, we met for another date a few days ago. This date went great except she revealed one troublesome fact: her roomate is her ex.
The way she explained it to me is they dated for about 5 years and broke up about 2.5 years ago. A few months after breaking up, he was going through tough times and needed a place to stay so she allowed him to move in with her. She said they have remained good friends through all this and decided the dynamic worked. They have been roomates for about 2 years. She said they have no romantic/sexual interest in eachother, are both dating/pursuing other people and sleep in separate rooms.
She’s really nice, has matched my effort and seems really independent and responsible. This is the only red flag. I appreciate her being honest and forthcoming but I can’t help but feel weird about this. Ever since I found out my interest in pursuing her has decreased (I’m also talking to/seeing someone else and still on apps). Would I be a fool to pursue this? Would I be shallow to break things off for this? Does anyone have a similar experience? Honestly my gut is telling me to stay away but I’m not sure if it’s just anxiety. Looking for validation/input.
2 comments
I would just assume be labeled as ‘insecure’ and drop her. This situation is not OK with me, even if it is innocent. She is also 26 and has a roommate. Assuming her ex is her age or slightly older and he is not living on his own. Sounds co-dependent for both of them.
you need to go in with the mentality, shes not yours, its just your turn. and the more you tell yourself that, the more you’ll forget about her ex being there. eventually shes going to have feelings for the guy shes having s3x with. of course giving that the s3x experience ends up being better than with her ex. but yeah dude just go for it. at the end of the day success ends with the tip of your D. everything else is just a bonus. There’s a lot for you to learn from reading your post. I can recommend some YouTubers to watch, and I will say the more videos you watch, the more you will know what to do in XYZ situation 1—anthonyspade reactions 2. Manosphere highlights daily 3. Black Filipino TV 4. Legion of men 5. living a life of abundance. 6. casual bachelor 7. Fbe capital 8. Modern life dating 9. ReplicantPhish 10. Taylor the fiend 11. mtr (mediocre tutorials and reviews)
12. austin holleman 14. The celebrity junk 15. Oshay duke Jacksn 16. MJ get right 17. man reacts 18. better bachelor 19. darius m 20. coach greg adams 21. fresh n fit clips (with the word clips in the end)
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The funniest YouTuber here is living a life of abundance, so have your popcorn ready. If you want to go deep, check out MJ Get Right and Anthonyspade reaction videos from 1-2 years ago, and everyone else brings a unique flavor to teaching you about the dating scene with women. MJ has three videos with the word validate, after watching that i got laid on the same day. The only problem is, learning this stuff at 27yr instead of 18yr where i wish i knew it to have dated a lot more in my teens and early 20s. ;/
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In 6 months or less, your brain will generate all the answers you are looking for once you have enough information from all the videos you watched of every possible dating situation you saw.
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If you drive, then try to play a few videos to listen to. You’ll learn a lot faster. Get a second phone like I did if you need to separate GPS from what you are playing. and remember you can start of by just watching videos with thumbnails and titles related to your x situation so you solve your issues faster instead of watching videos in any order.
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so once again, the more videos you watch the more you will know *what to do* and *how to act* in xyz situation. that does also include looking through some of the older videos from years ago. you may find gold in there.