It never occurred to me that I would be typing this, but here we are. Now that I (27F) know that my roommate (26F) is seeing my ex (29M), I feel as though I’m living in a soap opera. How in the world am I going to get through this nightmare without going insane?
Give me a moment to set the scene. We used to spend a lot of time together, including movie nights and weekend brunches. But I made the decision to end things with my ex a few months ago. It was more of a mutual realization that we had different life goals than a painful breakup. We made a deal to remain friends, but you know how things work out.Last week, flash forward to when I return home to find my roommate and ex cuddling up on the couch. People, the shock was real. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh, cry, or just sit back and enjoy the drama as it happened. I’m not a drama queen, mind you. I understand that people move on, but sharing a roof with my ex’s new partner? Applying hot sauce to an open wound is analogous to that. How in the world do I handle this?Let me state up front that I’m not trying to cause trouble. Sincerely, I’m looking for guidance on how to handle this difficult circumstance without using the silent treatment or passive-aggressive Post-it notes. I’m all about keeping things in good spirits and keeping our living space clean. But how can I maintain my composure when my house is a continual reminder of our previous relationship?I’ve thought about having a serious conversation with my roommate, but I don’t want to come across as resentful or possessive. It’s not as if I own my ex, and if that’s the case, I want them to be content. However, how can I ensure that this doesn’t come at the expense of my personal happiness?
this is where I need your advice. How can I establish limits without coming across as repetitive? When we all share a bathroom and refrigerator, how can I avoid being awkward? Above all, how do I keep my sanity intact while living in this strange love triangle?Save me the “find a new place” remarks, please. I shouldn’t have to move just because I’m not ready to pack up and relocate, is I?
Thank you for reading through my bizarre situation.
2 comments
What is the lease situation?
Because no, this does not work.
just have a talk with your roommate that even yhough you already over with the ex and in no way have feelings for him it still awkward for you with him being there since history.