Have you ever continued dating someone who you didn’t initially feel a spark with?

19 comments

  1. Absolutely not. When I don’t feel that excitement or happiness of us just hanging out together, I broke it off. Getting to know them as a person was great! I enjoyed talking to them and whatnot but if there isn’t any sexual/romantic attraction it won’t (didn’t) last long.

  2. If I’m excited about being around them/talking to them and think about them when we’re apart, I’d never continue to see someone if there was no spark

  3. If I feel tingles and want to be around her, that’s good chemistry

    If we talk for 3 hours straight because neither of us is getting bored that’s good chemistry

    If she’s a sadist and pins me against the wall by the neck while whispering the terrible things she wants to do to me, that’s good chemistry (because I’m a masochist and I love that shit)

    If she asks before she touches me, before she kisses me and treats me with respect, that’s a green flag, but also like… for me that makes me feel safe which is good chemistry

  4. For me in the early stages that person almost becomes a ‘drug’ to me. I obsess over the person constantly and crave them when we are apart (almost like withdrawal). I tend to feel a lot of anxiety as well over whether they feel the same way.

    I did once end up in a long term relationship (6 years!) with someone who I did not have great romantic chemistry with. It was long distance and mostly a ‘phone relationship’. It was more like a friendship than anything. Ultimately we had a very easy, mutual break up and quickly moved on to other people. I have not once regretted ending this relationship now that I see how a relationship with chemistry can be.

  6. Oh, you just feel it. Everything is just so natural/easy when you have good chemistry.

    I did stay with someone I didn’t feel that initial spark with. I was very enthusiastic about the relationship, I liked him and found him interesting, but… Conversation didn’t flow very well, I kept second guessing myself, he never initiated sex, didn’t seem to like me that much but probably kept me around for the company.

    I stayed for about a year and ended up leaving when I met someone who made me feel that spark. He wasn’t a bad person or anything, but being together was a waste of time for both of us, we weren’t happy.

  7. To me, chemistry is about our personalities clicking. We can talk for hours, be comfortable around each other, I continue to think about them, and I’m motivated to get to know them more. It doesn’t have to be physical for me at first, that can develop later.

    If I don’t feel any spark, but still enjoyed their time, I’ll go on a date or two more with them because I like to be completely sure before cutting things off. I’ve found that sometimes people’s personalities don’t break through at first because of nerves.

  8. Having a conversation with them feels exciting and easy, not like pulling teeth.

    I’ll usually give it 1-2 dates before assessing this, because a lot of people (myself included) may be more awkward than usual when talking to a new person.

  9. True chemistry is far and few between, for me at least. If we are speaking on romantic chemistry, and not platonic, it would be based off of banter and how that banter makes me feel. Intellectually stimulating, flirtatious undertones, whether their words carry any sort of weight that’s differentiated from my other interactions, etc. Also, with true chemistry I want to talk to that person every day if I can. It’s like addicting getting their time, attention, and what not cause you can talk about paint drying and have fun. You can just kinda feel the attraction is mutual. You don’t question it. You’re like oh yeah, we are flirting and the chemistry is here without forcing a connection. Conversation flows, not too many awkward pauses and if there is an organic pause, then it’s not necessarily awkward it’s either paired with a little laugh, or smile, or something that makes sense like prolonged eye contact (body language is telling too) etc. Like I said, you just feel the chemistry as if it’s a magnetic pull. You don’t really need it explained. You feed off of one another’s energy effortlessly. You care to continue a conversation, more than that of just a friend. Vibe is there or vibe is not there. And yes, of course physical attraction weighs in too. Do I want to see this man naked or do I not?

    Have you ever talked to someone and the conversation is so stimulating somehow that you have been able to tell from the vibe alone that you all would be compatible in the bedroom? THAT IS CHEMISTRY. Stimulate my brain and I’ll stimulate your body lmao.

  10. When I first started seeing my boyfriend, I think we would stay up talking until 5 a.m. some nights. Time would just fly by, and conversations were effortless.

    We also have similar outlooks on life and think the same way! I also feel like life is too short to be with someone that you don’t have that spark with. If you need to force compatibility, it might not be a good idea to keep dating a person! But it’s ultimately your decision.

  12. I can feel the chemistry a mile away. A hug or a kiss will definitely set me off. Unfortunately, this has happened with men who I do not see myself with, so I walk away. I have continued to platonically date men who I do not have chemistry with and have made it clear that the relationship will not turn physical.

  13. for me… it’s being excited while i’m around them. at the same time my nervous system doesn’t feel run dry. and I don’t feel tired/drained when I leave their presence

  14. That’s something that I feel and experience rather than something that I need to determine. Either I feel like we have great chemistry and our interacting smoothly and easily together in a comfortable way, or I don’t.

  15. I don’t necessarily associate it with a spark but look for whether I enjoy their company, talking to each other flows easily, I feel like I can be myself, and I look forward to spending time with them again. If I don’t feel that way after a few dates (or those things fade) I don’t continue.

    I remember going on a few dates with someone and not being sure about whether there was anything there romantically. I enjoyed talking to them and it was fairly easy conversation. So, I initiated going on a walk to kind of see where it was at. When he agreed, I instantly felt disappointed. Apparently, without realizing it, I had hoped he wouldn’t be available. So, that was my sign. We parted ways amicably. I was disappointed because he was genuinely a kind guy. I have a feeling it was mutual feeling though. There just wasn’t really a romantic connection there.

  16. I almost feel like I can physically feel a connection to someone I have good chemistry with. Like we’re drawn together – even if we’re both trying to avoid it, it feels like there’s something there. I get very smiley and giddy while talking to them. Conversation is exciting and super easy, if I can talk to a guy for hours and barely notice our surroundings, to me that’s good chemistry. I also get very flirty in a tease type of way (if we haven’t hooked up yet). The eye contact…… mmm, that’s the best. That how I know fs we have good chemistry, the way we look into each others eyes. I become very curious about them, even when they’re not around I’m thinking about them a lot, or wondering about them. Laughing a lot together as well. I also will feel more at ease talking about certain topics with them. Subtle touching. Feel a bit nervous (in a good way) to see them before I see them but then once I’m with them I feel very at ease and comfortable

  17. I met my boyfriend on a dating app. My boyfriend and I texted and called/facetimed for a couple of months before meeting in person (we were in different states, I was back home from college for the summer). When we were just communicating over the phone, I honestly didn’t think much would come out of it truthfully. Our first phone call, I was a bit disappointed (looking back on it, I think he was just a bit shy/nervous). But I wanted to go an actual date in person before I made a decision about him.

    Idk how it made such a big difference, but I pretty much knew after the first day we met. It’s honestly hard to answer how we knew, we just felt comfortable with each other immediately. We’re still going just as strong after a year.

  18. If I enjoy texting them, being around them.

    If there’s isn’t any chemistry then I usually stop dating after the first date or second( if I’m unsure).

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like