My gf (F20) and i (18M) have been dating for a year although mostly over the phone and text because her conservative christian parents who pay for her college, gas, insurance and phone bill aren’t ok with her dating anyone whos not white and religious. Recently our relationship is taking a toll due to her parents fighting and other things involving her aswell but its mostly family drama thats been going on for longer then it should. Its taking a hard toll on our quality time and at this point im lucky to get even an hour on the phone with her. I have absolutely no issues with this as i understand shes also busy and her dad is constantly making a big deal out of her using her phone so i understand that shes not gonna be able to call all the time. Anyways while i have no issue with her not being able to call at all… I do have an issue with her ghosting me for hours straight and or not replying to any of my texts and its not that im mad or angry at or with her, im worried for her and for our relationship which seems to be on the back burner when it comes to her priorities. Another issue is with our in-person quality time thats been cut off for small, minute reasons or things that make no sense, and even today the only day we get to see each other class got cancelled so we had an hour to spend time doing other things like talking and spending time together. After we found out class got cancelled she was already seeming agitated but now seemed pissed and i was excited to see her which led to me being overly energetic and i jokingly said “i feel like im annoying you, am i annoying you?” which was met with a serious and loud “YES!” So i stayed quiet and when we got back to the parking lot she said “im just gonna leave” and left and she has done this before even when i was standing there crying because i hadn’t seen her in weeks. I just dont understand why shes acting so cold and mean. If its my fault i wanna know what I’m doing so i can fix it. I just dont know what to do please help
2 comments
i think it’s a good choice for you guys to break up. she has a lot of shit going on at home and it seems like right now she can’t afford a relationship.
You can also communicate everything you said here and let her know that it won’t be able to work out if things continue to be the same.
Also asking her what’s stressing her besides her parents and college or if it’s only her parents and college that have her stressed!
She obviously has a lot going on at home. You need to evaluate how much her current behavior (maybe not her fault but her responsibility) is affecting you mentally. You cannot be having breakdowns all the time. Sometimes the choice to leave is the hardest thing, and you can never truly do it. I think maybe talk to her and, if there’s an acceptance from her side that she is being cold and distant, and she’ll work to improve on it after she doesn’t have alot on her plate, its worth it.