I have no idea what is going through his head. I (40f) have been seeing a man (43m) for about a month. We met through mutual friends. He is a great guy with really no major red flags (except maybe for this?). We have both been single for 4 years so this is a little new to both of us. He does have children from a previous marriage. I understood why he wanted to take things slow (because children, being wary due to past relationships, etc), and was ok with that. I know he’s not seeing anyone else and neither am I.
We went from texting constantly to talking for hours every day to now seeing each other/spending the night with each other almost every other night. This is at his behest. He wants me to come over and makes it a point to ask me. We have been intimate, but not on a regular basis. We generally just spend time together and relax/watch TV and then go to bed. It’s really nice.
We’re definitely seeing each other, but after such a short time there is not really any defining the relationship. Why does he say he wants to take things slow, but yet he wants to see me all the time?
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I can’t speak for him as I’m not him, but I’m guessing he’s wanting to take the getting into a serious relationship slow, however your already slept together, so I don’t know there. But I’m still guessing the serious relationship part, but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy each other’s company, your spending time together and getting to know each other, since y’all are spending a lot of time together I would say he really likes spending time with you, I’m guessing you like spending time with him too. Him having kids is probably the hold up on the relationship part, but your both adults why not sit down and talk to him about what you are both looking for?
Maybe he was in a toxic relationship. He also has kids too I’m sure you understand that.
If he isn’t seeing anyone else what is the problem here?
I think there are different aspects to the relationship and on some he wants to move slower than others. Possibly also maybe he was trying to hold it back more in the aspects you have moved faster, but his feelings for you are setting the pace.
Just talk about it again and think through if there are any possible futures you don’t want to end up in or other boundaries you have and communicate them clearly.