My LTP and I broke up during the shutdown.
During early reopening around spring of 2021 was my very first time experiencing attempting to date, especially online date.
I would say majority of people where still being very cautious. We where still recommended to stay in our bubbles.
I still took some precautions, but I hate to admit loneliness drove me to venture out into dating when most still didn’t feel comfortable.
I would say that this definitely skewed my perception of what OLD would actually be like in a few key ways.
The biggest way would be that the pool was greatly minimized from what the usual number of available people would be.
This effected things in two key ways:
Firstly the fact that a person was still using OLD despite being recommended to limit contact (I realize I am myself included in this) meant that they where more likely to be desperately lonely or less cautious in general.
Secondly, the reduced pool size (of I’m assuming women especially as we tend on average to be more socially conscious) greatly increased my perceived value to the men I did meet.
This resulted in my meeting some very eager, responsive and clingy men.
This obviously isn’t exactly in ideal, but I think my perception of how “into me” people would be and level of enthusiasm and responsiveness was greatly altered from what the reality actually is.
Now that mask mandates have been lifted where I live and things have basically completely opened back up, it feels as if everyone is spoilt for choice yet still socially confused and anxious.
Far more “normal” or “better adjusted” people available, but we are all still a little disoriented.
I predicted that this time in history would be a great time for dating. There where so many relationships that become casualties during COVID and especially during the shutdown, I assumed when things opened up there would be this outflow of fresh blood and enthusiasm towards being able to connect again.
But it feels more like an army of battle weary veterans, unhealed and gun shy, haunted by flashbacks of exes past, deluded by an illusion of limitless options.
Anyone else feel a huge difference between now and a year ago?
I hate to say it, but I almost prefer it a year ago, at least I felt valued.
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I’ve been dating online off and on (between relationships) since 2015 and honestly there has just been a HUGE difference to me between pre covid dating and post covid dating. I don’t know if it’s because I am in a different age bracket (mid/late 20s previously to early 30s) or if it’s really covid related but OLD has become so much more difficult and most of the guys on it are just looking for something casual/hookup related. Idk if everyone is just trying their best to have a hot girl/guy 2022 now that restrictions are lifted but it’s honestly sucked in terms of going out with people interested in the same things lol. I’ve definitely expanded my social circle and am trying to meet people outside the apps so i’m hoping that’ll work out for me!
Interestingly, I think the last two fairly single friends I knew met their partners as we were under restrictions but single people were allowed to form bubbles.
It makes sense because people had time during lockdown to think about what’s important to them in life (and relationships) plus the lack of strong human connection would probably make people seek it out more. And the fact we were still quite cautious would mean there’s a lot less multi-dating and sleeping around – giving people more time to form genuine connections and attraction.
Once things opened up with no real concern for COVID I can imagine plenty of people just wanting to get out there and date around given that was something tough to do during lockdowns.
I think the pandemic had the opposite impact on OLD. People who normally wouldn’t use it flocked to it because there wasn’t really an alternative. So you had a lot of lonely window shoppers with not much to occupy their time. People developed bad habits of matching and/or talking with no intention of meeting. Those bad habits have dragged ooonnnn and oonnnn and oonnn.
I haven’t been on OLD since before the pandemic and I had a really good time on them. The state of the world is a lot different just a few years later, and not in any way I see as positive.
> The biggest way would be that the pool was greatly minimized from what the usual number of available people would be.
Really? Where do you live?
> Anyone else feel a huge difference between now and a year ago?
Yeah, there’s so much more opportunity now. I’m very excited about the summer coming up.
I was chronically single and had been using online dating for about 12 years and I used it from April 2020 for a while. I can say confidently that the quality of the pool of people stayed the same. There was way less available people, since nobody was dating- it just wasn’t fun without stuff to do, you can only eat Taco Bell in somebody’s car or at a park so many times before you want to pack it in. But the quality of people or compatibility wasn’t any different. I had duds and also okay people. Never anybody that ☆wowed☆ me but that was par for the course.
The only major difference I noticed was most people in my area (were using Hinge at the time) seemed like they convinced themselves they would settle for a long distance thing. I kept getting Canadian matches or people 45 mins-2 hours away. I figured it was because people felt like it was likely they’d be in an isolated state for some time anyway, and something was better than nothing. I ended up dating someone who lived in another state and in retrospect I doubt that guy would have signed on for that if he was able to see people in person.
I was in a major metro area pre-C19, and I noted and mentioned to my friendly regularly going back to later 2018 how much OLD fatigue seemed to have permeated everywhere and become systemic. The stereotypical women are tired of dick picks and “DTF?” noise, guys were tired of being ghosted, stood up, or swiping/matching/messaging 50 people a day who never responded.
By the time C19 quarantine hit, many many people had tried Tinder, Bumble, PoF, Match, Hinge, and so on. Probably multiple times. The few who were single and willing to meetup in the early days of lockdown for a socially distanced date (Pretty much…beers at the park or on a hike) found the pool pretty shallow and desperate.
**Then** you throw on another year and a half ish of social fatigue, political fatigue, and dating friction fatigue (Hence all the “vaccinated” and “social distancing” filters/tags that popped up in some of the popular apps) in people all having different ideas of what they found to be acceptable and low risk…if you’ve been OLD since before C19, you’re probably completely burnt out. I’ve been off apps for a long while now, since mid last autumn or so, and it’s been quite refreshing. The amount of effort put in for hardly any return just wasn’t worth it anymore.
>I hate to say it, but I almost prefer it a year ago, at least I felt valued.
Goes both ways. As a straight dude, it was pretty much a dead zone and it wasn’t worth my effort to even try. I wouldn’t say you’re “unvalued” now, you just don’t necessarily seem like a rare commodity within the current circumstances. Don’t let it mess with your head. Life will go on.
Totally anecdotal and likely specific to my city, but rent has gotten so expensive post-covid that it seems like everyone is eager to couple up to split rent.
It could also be because I’m in the 30+ bracket now but I noticed during the slow opening of spring 2021 that people did seem more interested in coupling up then pre-pandemic. I think the pandemic made a lot of people see the value in a partner since you either spent months A. riding out a pandemic alone, B. trapped with roommates for months or C. moving back in with your parents. Happily coupled people definitely had better options than singles during lockdown.
Things would be better if everyone was just kinder, more patient, more accepting, less judgmental, less obsessed with looks, less fearful and distrustful.
Also, if men on the internet could not be completely horrible and insane all the time, that would be great, yeah. No more stupid d$&@ pix, ya morons! Seriously, when did all these guys turn into public flashers?