Not sure what to do

I’m just going to give a quick overview. So the past couple years have been really hard on me(31m). My wife(27F) became very abusive towards me. Hitting, grabbing, pinning in a corner, throwing things and that’s just the physical stuff. There was emotional and mental abuse as well. She slept with her best friend(also a woman. We will call C) I wasn’t okay with it but when your wife says “thank god you’re not like Cs husband and will let me explore my sexuality” and goes on saying how shitty Cs husband is and then says “I want to have my bi experience with C” kinda felt like I had no choice but to say yes. I spent 2 years trying to save my marriage. They kept fucking it up. Everything was my fault I had to change myself all the time. If I had an issue with anything (like the physical abuse) and brought it up to my wife it started a fight, and she threw around divorce weekly. I couldn’t have hobbies or friends (cause wife said we only needed C) well fast forward a bit and C started talking shit about my wife and that friendship ended. Now I’m still having to deal with the trauma I went through and I guess I’m not getting over it fast enough for her. I’m angry all the time because of what I went through. Her family and I have never gotten along. Her dad can’t stand me cause I’m not rich, full white, and grew up Catholic. Her dad and uncle tried to make sit outside in the cold during Christmas cause I wasn’t family. All the racist comments from her dad and all the shitty things he said still bother me but he fucking threatened to shoot me in the chest till it was mush. Her family still in her life. Her reason “well my dad apologized to me so it’s okay” her dad didn’t threaten to shoot her and didn’t apologize to me. She wants the kids around her family and I’m not about it cause of how I’ve been treated since we started dating yet somehow I’m the asshole. I’m tired of feeling alone and I was alone for 2 years. She spent all her time with C 4+ hours after work, while I did the cooking the cleaning all the house work everything. I’m doing my best to get into therapy agin but waiting to hear back from the VA. I don’t know what to do. She says things are going to change and she’s going to get better but idk if I can come back from everything she really fucked me up and just expects me to be fine I guess. Oh she wanted to start swinging as well cause C convinced her she needed a hoe phase and my wife was sending nudes to random dudes on the internet when she doesn’t even do that for me.