My [29M] Gf [27F] developed body image issues and depression after retiring from her sport 2 years ago. I want to tell her what’s going on but any time I try she cuts me off or even breaks down. How do I go about encouraging healthy habits without coming off as a c-word?

As the title says, my gf was an athlete until a couple of years ago. She retired to pursue a doctorate because she wanted to research or whatever.

She completely stopped exercising or playing. Like she would not even play with people when she was invited by common friends or by strangers. Her reasoning was, “they are not good enough to play with me it will feel like a chore more than fun” or “I don’t feel like I am as good as I was and I don’t want to feel bad”. Which, both can be valid, and whatever else.

But anyway, keep in mind this is a person that played every day of their life for like 19-20 years, fast forward like 6 months. She’s having like a crisis. About clothes not fitting (at this moment it was very dramatic they definitely still fit), about her old friends that she used to train with not calling her, and just a depression in general (we moved from NYC to a small city so it was also under stimulating).

6 months after that (so a year later) as a surprise, I take her to like the mecca of her sport to see the games/matches. Her old like buddies from the sport are there, playing. It felt like she was more bothered than impressed by the fact that they are like… playing.

Then we go to like a rooftop after party at one of her old coaches apartment. They took photos… and she like broke down. We left.

This has been continuing on. Doesn’t want to go out with the same friends because she says she feels like a lamp now. Wouldn’t go out in the town we were at because it was boring (tbf I agreed with her but not socializing is kind of depressing on it’s own)

So, then since her research doesn’t need her there in person. We move back. And I thought maybe that would solve the problem but nope.

I truly have no idea what to do here. Like, I was telling her the fact that she’s no longer in the sun (always in the computer) could maybe affect her mood. And then she goes off about how she doesn’t have time to be outside. And I would not dare in a million years to bring up going to the gym.

But like… I just don’t think anyone could go from exercising like 4 hours a day under the sunlight to not going outside… like ever and then not feeling depressed.

But I have no idea how to bring it up. Like, even regular people like myself need to walk, or exercise, or go outside, or have a hobby, or volunteer.

Any ideas?