I’m 16 and a Junior in high school. I have no close friends, mostly just acquaintances. I don’t get invited to parties on the weekends, I don’t get invited to hang out, I try to invite people but everyone always says they’re busy. I used to have some close friends but when we got to high school, they moved on from me and made new friends. When I tried to become part of the group or at least feel included, they pushed me away. I just feel like I can’t do anything right, right now. I thought that once I got my license, I would become friends with these people and I could drive myself places, but everyone always says that they’re busy. Me and my friends used to talk about going to college, and how we were all going to live together and go to crazy parties, but since things have changed, we don’t talk about that stuff anymore. When I go to college, I’m gonna find somewhere as far away from here as possible and start my life over again. I try to be as good as a friend as possible because I care about them, but I don’t think they care about me anymore and they look down on me. I just feel like I’m going to snap one of these days. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
13 comments
My best advice to you would be to focus on life after high school. I’m 33 years old and I cannot recall more than a handful of people or experiences. My college life was a complete restart for my social life. I wasn’t anything special in HS but developed greatly in college. The morals and values of your peers in high school is dog shit. Kids think the weirdest stuff is cool in high school. Once you’re an adult, intelligence, money, and social skills are major skills that carry you. These are almost penalized in Hs.
TLDR don’t ever focus to greatly on HS. It’s a stepping stone to a much better part of your life.
People move on and I think you should to. it sucks but that’s just life I think you’d be better off if you stop trying to cling onto the past and look ahead to the future.
holding on to these emotions and letting them fester is no good. Try to turn these emotions into something productive
Other then what’s said in this post why do you feel worthless? And do you have the power to change it?
I had a very similar school experience. I wanted to be part of a group but they didn’t want me. I was crushed. So, I did my bit, graduated with honors, went to university, graduated and didn’t look back. I found a job that led me to better job that led to me traveling and living abroad in the Far East, West Africa and UK for 8 yrs. You are not worthless! You are fabulous and you can do whatever you want. Take a job, learn what you can from it and then move on. You’ll find what you want and need as you broaden your experiences. Good luck and kick ass.
My advice would be to look at joining clubs and groups outside of high school. That way you can have a mini startover instead of waiting to go to college. I wouldn’t waste time thinking about people who don’t give you the time of day and make you feel low. Remember that there are people who love and care about you 🙂
I’m sorry you’re going through this, friend. I was in a similar situation in high school. I’m not sure why it’s like that but it is. After high school, though, it gets a lot better. At least, for me it did. I didn’t party all the time but I did make some good friends. My advice right now is to see if you can join some sort of club at school or somewhere else. Find out what your passion is and see if there’s a club for it. See if you can join it and then you could potentially make some friends.
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I hope it gets better, man.
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Edited to add: Also, remember that high school will fly by. It feels like it’s your whole life right now, but it’s not. That’s the glorious thing. After you’re out, there’s a world out there to explore. It can have heartache, struggle, unfairness, tragedy, wars, etc, but it is also beautiful. There’s meeting a random stranger at a coffee shop over a tv shirt someone is wearing. There’s vacations to go – cruises, resorts, concerts, forests, and all sorts of stuff. It gets better.
Please don’t base your self-worth on whether you have friends or not in high school. PLEASE don’t. The negative thoughts will only crush your self-esteem and will continue to spiral. You are not worthless at all, as long as your a decent person, everything will change once you are in college, this is just a phase. For now, focus on yourself and being the best version of yourself.
I’m 21 and a senior in college and went through the same things in high school. I never really felt I had any real friends. It was just a few friendly acquaintances at best. Even then we never hung out outside of school. The years I went to homecoming I went by myself. I lied to my parents about wanting to leave town my junior year( for prom) so I wouldn’t have to deal with not having a date or even a group to go with. My senior year of high school was like all the others except for spring semester when we got sent home bc Covid lockdown. Dealt w verbal bullying that I couldn’t escape from. I felt worthless most of the time in HS and couldn’t feel there was anyway out bc that “HS social hierarchy” already set in and it felt nobody was open to making new friends. I’ve been going to counseling for about a year now and if I could change anything I would go sooner(especially before I got to college) and that is my advice to you. Open up to your parents about it. You don’t have to tell them the what or the why if you don’t want to bc I sure as hell didn’t want to with my parents. If I were you I would share with them that you are feeling really stressed and want to start seeing a counselor. I wish you the best and my inbox is open if you’d like to talk any more.
There’s a phrase called teenage angst and it’s turmoil self-doubt sometimes being ostracized sometimes being picked on not knowing who you are but you are a teenager this is supposed to be a rough ride and don’t worry about the parties and stuff because you don’t want to be the kid who hits his peak in high school because then it’s all downhill after that you want to be the person who hits that peek in their mid-20s why because that’s when your money to have fun and you have some success and you’re going to appreciate those good times so much more because you had these bad times now. Things will get better
Same with me I’m 16m and I relate to you sm
You are not worthless. Did you do something (or not do something) to put people off? Maybe try to analyze that. You have your whole life ahead of you and success is not for the mentally weak. Try to stay positive because good things happen to positive people.
girl problems?
Acne can be a problem for people. Make sure you do a face cleaning regimen every morning and evening. Also, be aware of touching your face. Use clean sheets and pillows as often as possible. Diet can also cause chronic acne. For example, anytime I eat fresh tomatoes, I break out. Maybe see a doctor and take an allergy test. Best of luck!
You write very well for 16.