So I’m (19F) am going over to a guys house (24M) tomorrow and we’ve never had sex or even talked about it. We met thru a dating app and had dinner. I started my period 2 days ago and idk what to do bc I’m kind of assuming that we are going to have sex. I feel like it would be so awkward and out of the blue to just text that I’m on my period bc like I said no sex was even mentioned. I was thinking that if it got hot and heavy and seemed like it was going that way then I’d tell him. But i was talking to a guy friend and he was like oh you have to text him and let him know before you go. Idk does anyone have any ideas on what I should do??
Btw this would technically be the second date

24 comments

  1. You certainly don’t have to tell him up front, being as there are no explicit or implicit expectations upon you. You could absolutely tell him only if and when you need to. That said, if you did want to prewarn him without making you sound presumptuous then you could mention it in a way that doesn’t refer to sexual activity. As an example, you could say “I will probably be on my period when we meet up and so I might be a little crampy or tired. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case you think that I’m not acting like normal myself”. Something like that changes the intention behind the information.

  2. Go on date. Have fun. Tell him your situation openly and honestly. It’s a good test of his character to see how he responds. Enjoy teasing and flirting and other physical fun. If all goes well then a few days later or when ready, you go have sex.

  3. If you haven’t had sex at all or even talked about sex, texting him randomly ahead of time saying “I’m on my period” is pretty presumptuous. I wouldn’t bring it up until it becomes clear that sexual activity is on the table or imminent.

  4. I hope you have a great time on your date. Maybe the best strategy would be if you’re fooling around and things are getting heavy, enjoy yourself, but tell him you’d rather have sex on the next date, and you’re looking forward to seeing him again.

  5. I’m totally comfortable with having sex on my period but I wouldn’t for the first date, especially not knowing if he’d be fine with it. I’d just go and hang out without having sex or mentioning why not. I’d just say I felt more comfortable just having a getting to know you date and hangout tonight.

  6. Just go on the date, no need to tell him anything in advance. If sex comes up tell him then. If he has an issue then he’s not worth your time any way.

  7. Why do you need to do the sexytimes already at date #2? Do you want to?

    So I’m a guy, and probably too old, but I wouldn’t expect sex on #2, I’d just see how things went. An evening with dinner and movie would be nice. A bit of “heavy petting” would be really nice (then I know she’s into me). I wouldn’t be put off if the lady told me to slow down or that you’re not ready to go all in yet. And if the heavy petting progresses, you can always inject “Also, on my period this week.” His reaction should be a nice test too.

    If you really want to screw the guy, and want to see his brain explode, you could always add “So, I’m on my period this week, but I’d really like to fuck you. I say we should meet up again next week…”

    I see someone suggested you could give him a BJ. Well. For a second date I’d say that’s not expected at all. If you did, the only reason I think is to tell him in no uncertain terms that you are REALLY into him..

  8. If you’ve never done anything with this guy before there’s no need to tell him ahead of time. If you guys start getting physical, you can say, “hey by the way, I have my period”.

    He will survive if he was hoping for sex and gets disappointed. Men have made it through for thousands of years when this has happened in the past. He’ll be ok! You don’t owe him sex because you go to his house. It would be way weirder to bring up your menstrual status to someone you aren’t even sexual with yet (unless it’s a topic of conversation already). Your guy friend is wrong.

  9. I don’t think you should assume that you’re going to have sex or that he is going to expect it. If your start taking your clothes off, it would be a good time to tell him, but I would not volunteer it before that. If he’s a real man, he’ll know how to work around the issue and you could both cum and have a very, very good time, but if he’s inexperienced, it might be better to just give him a rain check if you’re still into getting that intimate with him.

  11. >oh you have to text him and let him know before you go

    What is with this expectation to always be ready for surprise sex?!

    If you haven’t even talked about sex, this would be a good time to do so if it comes up. If he doesn’t want to hang out with you unless he can get his dick wet, that would probably be valuable piece in information about how this relationship is likely to develop.

  13. This has happened to me a few times over the years as a guy. You don’t have to tell him beforehand. I never take it personally or get upset, it’s just the way it is. You can always do other things besides PIV sex, which isn’t a bad plan this early in the relationship. Also from my experience, it can build some nice sexual anticipation for the next time when you can go all the way.

  14. I don’t mind to have sex with my girlfriend on the first or last days of her period. But, years ago, i had sex with a girl i meet that time. First time was perfect, good sex, all night long. The second time, she ask me to turn off the lights. Was a bit strange, but i never had sex on the dark and i did what she asked(turned me on with the idea). The sex was really good, better then the first time. She ended up sleeping on my house again, both naked. Next day, she leaves in the morning. After she leaves, i take a shower, go to my room and start to change my sheets. Ok, blood all over my bed, she didnt tell me anything. Telling me before sex was enough, i was so horny that the result would be the same. But this simple thing changes everything. I never saw her again. So tell him before, simple enough.

  15. I’ve been the guy in that situation a number of times, but she said while she was unavailable she would take care of me with a blowjob. When she was over her period I happily returned the favor.

    Your guy friend is wrong. It would be awkward to text this if there was no specific expectation or the date was set specifically to have sex. Since you haven’t talked about it before then it would be really weird to text it out of the blue.

    As it starts to get hot and heavy you can either say you have your period and will need to wait, or give him oral for now with the idea you’ll do more later. I’ve never heard of a guy who was disappointed when they got oral.

    edit: Some have said this might indicate he is expecting some kind of sex, which it seems OP is expecting to be doing something and is why she is asking in this post. She has no obligation to do anything, but this is one way to navigate things, if she desires, should things get “hot and heavy”. Otherwise, just tell him she is not available and maybe meet again when she is.

  16. The first night my, now, wife hooked up, she was on her period.

    Things got sexy and we started having fun. She told me she wasn’t ready for sex that night but that it didn’t mean we couldn’t do some other stuff.

    I told her that was fine by me and it immediately gave her a sense of my respect for boundaries. It also said I was *really* enjoying my time with her and didn’t have any expectations.

    (My life’s motto: *Expectations are down payments on resentment.*)

    We learned good things about each other’s boundaries and respect of said boundaries that night and I’m certain it ultimately led to the last 16 years together.

    **What I will highly recommend is if you feel things are going anywhere remotely in the direction of sexy, tell him immediately!** Get the info out there, that way he won’t feel like he was being taken down one path and then had to veer into another.

    Good luck!

    Edit: For clarity

  17. Casually Fake cramping and when he asks if you’re alright just let him know you’re on your period

  19. You don’t owe an explanation, from a guys perspective, just go have a good time, hang out, go as far as you’re comfortable, if you’re comfortable with period sex then probably let him know before.

  21. As another poster has said, say something like “hey, just a heads up, I might be out of sorts because I have my period”. It lets him know that you’re on your period without any inference about sexual activity

  22. It’s a shame that so many guys won’t have sex with a girl on their period who’s willing to

    I was dating this girl and the second date was going amazing back at mine and when we moved to the bedroom she told me she was devastated we couldn’t do anything because she was on her period and when I asked her about it she said she just assumed guys wouldn’t want to have sex with her if she’s on her period (previous partners all thought it was horrible) and was so surprised when I said I wasn’t fazed at all

    Ended up having great period sex and it’s crazy to think some guys would have gone without just because of a little blood

  23. Don’t listen to your guy friend because that’s bad advice.

    I wouldn’t text him or tell him at all that you’re on your period. Sex hasn’t even been brought up and you texting that, insinuates that you want to have sex. Save that experience when you’re not on your period. It’s also your second date so please, save some excitement for another day! Take your time and enjoy each other before sex.

  24. One time this girl was like, “I’m on my period. But I’ll give you a blowjob!”, And I thought that was really great.

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