I (29M) have recently gotten back into dating after a long time being single (career focus, a few moves across the country, global pandemic, usual things). Since I am a normal looking man, online dating is just about useless so I need to go out and meet women the old fashioned way. The usual strategy is to meet women though hobbies and interests, but I have found that all of mine are severely male dominated and I need to expand my horizons to have any hope of meeting someone. (American ladies – if you want to meet LOTS of men, go to a shooting range. Endless dudes, and all of them are financially stable enough to spend thousands of dollars on a hobby, and they will absolutely talk your ear off about their setups if you just ask.)
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I am generally a gigantic nerd though, and I would like to go and meet women who would at least be receptive to me being a gigantic nerd, and, ideally, be gigantic nerds themselves. Do any of you have any idea where I could go or things I could start doing to find this type of woman? Any insight would be appreciated.
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I have already resolved to start exploring more bars/restaurants and other things in my area to get out of my single-pub rut, and I am thinking of trying out HEMA (European style sword fighting).
21 comments
Tinder, unironically. It’s 90% introverted/nerdy/smart women who’ll be swiping right on you if you present yourself as an introverted/nerdy/smart guy. Works for me, at least.
> Since I am a normal looking man,
But not up to texting competitively, I gather.
Up your game, and while you’re at it, push for a quick coffee date to eliminate the ‘chatters’ who are content to text for years but are scared off by the concept of a quick bit of face to face over a coffee.
I’ve met nerdy girls at nightclubs before so literally anywhere I would say, I mean it really depends. Also, every area/city is different.
I’d describe myself as nerdy and ironically, I’ve mainly used dating apps because I didn’t have success meeting guys from in-person interactions lol. Tried meeting guys through my school but nothing ever worked out. I also wasn’t interested in going out to bars, parties, or clubs so I turned to online dating.
D&D groups! I just started to learn to play to build my social group and I’m sure there’s single people around these groups
I feel like there must be some Meetup groups that might be helpful for this? Or I was thinking about bars/coffee shops that have board games. I’m one of these women and like nerdy guys myself. I’ve been pushing myself to be more social lately and am actually really enjoying it. I did meet a really great nerdy introverted guy on Tinder last year so can’t discount Tinder if you want to just try it. I guess my point is that we’re out there, doing things we like to do, and you could meet your nerd at the library or on Tinder or at a bar. I feel like I’m rambling, I just kind of feel your pain and want to help.
They say the library
Board game meetups if that’s something you’re into
Also on online dating make this abundantly clear. Say you’d like to play D&D together. Name your favorite books or movies. You may get fewer likes, but you will get people who are actually interested in things you like.
Tinder, as a introverted/nerdy/ educated American woman that’s the way to go. I put all my nerd hobbies in my bio so whenever a guy has interest in the same things it overjoys me.
Board game meetups, comic book shops, nerdy themed bars. There’s several comic book shops in my city that have leagues and board game nights where people get together and play. Coworking spaces might also have meet ups for people interested in tech. And nerdy trivia nights at bars would probably work too.
Dog parks too surprisingly. I’ve met a lot of nerdy and geeky people there. I met most of my current friends and my ex at the dog park. We’d all play D&D together afterwards. It was super cute
Right here lol
Not sure your situation, but I live in a large city. I attend a lot of lectures at alumni and cultural institutions. Usually there is a cocktail reception before or after the lecture. There are a lot of interesting nerdy women at those types of events…. and most are single and looking. Gun hobbies, though, are not very popular with this crowd.
Great question. Well there are many different types of nerds, so the nerd your looking for may not be just like you. People can nerd over many things. Being that I’m a nerd myself, I’d say the best place to find us imo is probably in the library (as clique as that sounds) nerd girls Ik are usually passionate about school and career.
Another place is at coffee shops (they read often there), quiet parks, dog allowed areas, maybe beaches (they love relaxing), or in their house tbh. You may have to ask around for nerd girls because some of us are homebodies. For me I can be a homebody and really outgoing depending on my mood. Same thing with persona, I can be quiet and reserved or charming and fun. All depends
I have never thought about a shooting range being a great place for a women to hunt for a man. Like that is brilliant.
Super nerdy woman here. I’ve met most of my male partners LARPing. Historical reenactment also tends to attack a fair number of women.
Unfortunately, shooting ranges tend not to be spaces I’d feel safe going without a group or a male friend. Too many guys that aren’t willing to listen to “no”.
Introverted, needy, smart woman here- Hinge is what worked for me, though most bois were just looking for a roll in the hay. My guy and I started off discussing deep stuff based on his prompts and mine- I thought it’d fizzle coz it was so serious, but then we turned goofy and now it’s everything 🙂
Bumble and Tinder had a more casual crowd I found.
We’re all sitting in quirky european bakeries, the windy bits of parks and deserted libraries trying to engineer meetcutes. Help us out.
Have you considered going to conventions? Comic cons and such usually have a lot of people.
Reddit! I’ve seen plenty of nerdy, introverted and smart women on here. Also am a nerdy, introverted and somewhat smart woman myself.
Jokes aside. I’m surprised tinder hasn’t worked out, burly bearded guys are an insta right swipe for pretty much every woman I know.
Are you absolutely positive you aren’t coming across as a douchebag? From your stats you should have a fair amount of success. Are you an outlier in your community in some vital way?
I wish I knew :/