I tried like a thousand times and I still can’t get it done right.
When I give oral, I can’t look into his eyes. When he is on top of me I can’t hold that damn eye contact.
Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, I love the connection between me and my partners, but I don’t think I’ll ever manage to keep that dumb eye contact.
Last night while I was having sex with a, let’s say good friend, he looked straight at me while he was on top and I was so shy, I started blushing. My face turned literally red. He told me that he loved it, but I don’t know if he said it just to make me feel better or if he really meant it.
Any takes on this? Should I do something about it? How?
Thank you and sorry if this is the wrong place to post it.
29 comments
Well, shyness needs confidence. I’d say next time, just look at the top of his head. Not into his eyes. Then from there, lower your sight till you do meet his eyes. It’s all just practice. I was like that on my first time too, but I just told myself to look at him. Find a reason to make this special for both of us. That motivational talk and the forehead looking trick really helped me. Hope this helps you too
I have been with the same man for 12 years now (2years married, 1kid, about to have another) and I STILL can’t look him in the eye most times when we have sex. I just start feeling too self conscious and kills the mood for me. If you’re ok and he’s ok with it, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Sex is all about intimacy and vulnerability. Eye contact satisfies both; it’s intense, hot, and creates more of an intimate bond. I’ve always had trouble with eye contact. Pretty sure it’s the tism. I vividly remember working on it in therapy as a kid. It just takes practice, and you just have to come up with a method that’s comfortable for you. It can be very brief, it doesn’t have to be this long intense stare.
I guarantee he meant that he loved it because it was a very intimate and vulnerable moment for you to look in his eyes and blush. I would be flattered if it were me.
Aww cute
I have the same problem its due to shyness and without glasses i squint and because i know it happens when i take my glasses off i feel more uncomfortable.
Would you have more fun if you introduced blindfolds?
I honestly wouldn’t worry though, and I can’t see any reason not to believe he meant it when he said he loved it.
My biggest take away is that you’ve had sex 1000 times. How old are you?!
Maybe you should wait to have sex with people you don’t feel this shy with?
Practice making extended eye contact when you’re not fucking. I’m guessing it will feel a little uncomfortable then too. Get to the point where that doesn’t phase you, then practice during sex.
I used to have a huge issue with eye contact in general, especially with my boyfriends. I wouldn’t look them in the eye during conversations unless it was dark lol because I was self conscious about my face, acne, facial ticks, blinking weirdly, whatever. Idk how old you are but with age I became more confident with myself and my looks and my personality. I’m still insecure for sure, but I’ve grown into myself and strong eye contact can be super empowering and intense. In life and during sex. I love it.
It’s common!!! I knew a girl who would pull me close as she orgasmed so I couldn’t see her face. You’re expressing all sorts of emotions during sex and it can feel like too much pressure or embarrassing if you feel like all the attention is on you. Certain positions will help ease this and definitely kissing each other.
We started eye contact during cuddles 🥰
It’s extremely intimate and we talked about it. We still talk now, but not about the eye contact itself. We just make a lot of eye contact while we speak to each other. It shows how engaged you are in the conversation. It keeps you brutally honest. It tears down walls you didn’t know you had.
It took me a couple months but a week ago was the first time I was able to keep eye contact the whole time we were physically connected. This time it actually helped me get there! If you know what I mean. 😮💨
Something about that intent and determined gaze solely focused on me and my pleasure… woooooooo!
I have my eyes closed 95% of the time
..lol
Brief is good I think. I never ever usually make eye contact, I’m looking at what I’m doing during a blowjob and I usually have my eyes shut during intercourse.
I have made eye contact on one occasion, when a long distance friend and I were masturbating together. We were facing each other and every so often we’d both look up at the same time, make eye contact for a second, and it was fucking electric every time. You don’t need to be staring continuously into his eyes with great passion, it sounds like what did happen was just fine.
Give yourself time and understand that eye contact isn’t really super important in sex anyway. There is this weird thing in porn where guys want eye contact during a BJ but it’s hardly an essential component. When having intercourse you may not even be facing each other. Only worry, a little, if you feel it is a sign of some broader fear of intimacy
Idk how anyone makes eye contact while giving a blow job. It’s so physically uncomfortable and hard to stay coordinated with what you’re doing
If you don’t feel it’s a symptom of a broader fear of intimacy, I just wouldnt worry about it much. A lot of positions preclude eye contact. A lot of sex and kissing and so forth is with eyes shut.
There is this weird thing, probably from porn, with guys becoming obsessed with eye contact during oral. I like it some but it’s just a clever novelty and if it isn’t sincere then forget it. At the end of the day, eye contact just doesn’t feel requisite or even vaguely important during sex.
what are you afraid of? Like what is the worst case scenario that is making you nervous?
Think you are looking into a camera lense. You have no problem with that
I don’t like to make eye contact either and it’s hard in everyday life situations since I have anxiety and I’m just overall nervous person. I say keep trying if you feel comfortable doing it and don’t feel like you are being forced
Practice looking men in the eyes when you’re not having sex. Eye contact is intimate regardless & with some practice it should become easier & feel natural
Ehhh (m here) I struggle with it too. I think it’s just preference and comfort!! Don’t force yourself, it is what it is
I’ve been with my wife like 20 years. She’s the same way. It’s hot.
I stay giving my BF eye contact. Whether it’s head or fucking him while I’m on top or him on top. Yea, I have the occasional look away or my eyes rolling back (bc I’m getting my insides rearranged) but it’s okay to look away or not being able to keep it for long. It’s also common for those that just simply can’t!
I have the opposite problem where I really like looking at my boyfriend’s face the whole time, looking at his expressions and how much he’s enjoying it, but then I worry that I’m being creepy especially since I can’t help but smile so I look away or close my eyes ):
It isn’t shyness.
Both my gf and I can’t look each other in the eye both during and outside sex. Some people just aren’t big on eye contact!
I do t get it, you’re having actual sex, what’s to be shy about?
I was never into eye contact until I met my current partner…