For a little background I recently have been battling BV. (Bacterial Vaginosis- gives of unpleasant odor and discharge) Which thankfully I have got it under control with taking preventative care. But in the meantime I did ask my husband to let me know if I stink because sometimes I have a hard time smelling in general. He told me “even if you did I wouldn’t tell you”..
His explanation is I wouldn’t tell you because I want you feeling good about yourself. But now after talking a couple weeks ago he will tell me the truth, still can’t trust that after him being so adamant about not telling me if I stink so I would feel good about my self.
That’s not what I would want. I would want the truth so if something does smell off then I could start taking the right path and getting back on antibiotics, ect. Also that has made me very distant ish to want to have any type of sex with him. One of the things he loves is my sitting on his face, and since this BV problem and now hearing him say he won’t tell me the truth, i don’t want to proceed in sexual activity. He told me to just let it go but honestly I can’t. Last night I was worked up to sit in his face but you guessed it I backed out because of the replay in my head he wouldn’t tell me if I stink.
Ladies how would you feel?
Men would you seriously tell your girl they don’t stink even if they did?
5 comments
Dammed if he does, damned if he doesn’t.
He said he wanted you to feel good about yourself. Why can’t you just accept the words of the man you married and supposedly love?
Does it matter? I mean clearly if he wants you to sit on his face, he doesn’t care whether you smell or not. He is in fact *quite* happy to bury his face in you even though he probably could get away with way less if he didn’t like it. Why do *you* care?
Honestly, BV can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) which is a very serious health condition that can cause pain and infertility. Talk to your Dr about your issues smelling and that you might not be able to tell if you have BV and ask them how frequently you should be seen. I recommend seeing your doctor regularly just to rule out that you have BV because it can cause other serious problems. Don’t put it on your husband to diagnose it.
So you can look yourself in the mirror and say that you are 100.000000% honest at all times with him. No little lies to protect his feelings? Ever? Bullshit. Let it go. At this point you are doing it to yourself. While women here post all the time about their guy not liking their smell or not being willing to go down on them at all, yours has said “even if it stinks I wouldn’t say anything and I would eat that until you’re satisfied” and you’re screwing yourself into the ceiling about it.
You asked for advice and the consensus is move on but every one of your responses is “huh uh, you don’t understand”. We do. He said he will tell you in the future. But you know what, you’re right… let it destroy your sex life and thus your marriage. That seems to be what you want to hear.
The real question is what do you want and how do you feel. The answer is probably the truth and to feel trusted, safe and desired, while having lots of great sex. You need to hash that out with hubby so you get and feel what you both want.