At what point do you consider your partner part of your family?

4 comments

1. I considered my partner family about a month after I met him and decided to immigrate to his country.

2. As soon as we moved in together. From that moment, we are a family in one home; not just boyfriend and girlfriend.

3. This is a really interesting question because I do have different feelings for how friends become chosen family and how romantic partners do.

   So this is kind of how I see it for my romantic partner:

   1. Time. I think there’s a certain element of time spent in the relationship necessary to transition from just the person you’re seeing to the person you’re building your life around.

   2. As mentioned, you need to be building life together. So that might be moving in, immigrating, making career decisions around the other one, etc. Your future decisions include them too.

   3. Integration into your life with others that you consider family.

   4. When they’re included into your most inner emotional life and understand the complexities.

4. My family essentially adopted my husband about 9 months to a year after we started dating. He left everything and everyone behind when he left for college. My parents and my brothers adore him and treat him like one of their own.