I’d casually known her for 25 years and I always believed she was one of the sweetest people I’d known. We met up in the Spring the first time in years, and she said she was going to get a divorce. We got along uncommonly well, and we started dating a couple months later as I expected the divorce would be happening any day now.
Several months later, and no one has ever made me as upset, for as long, as she did, without caring at all about how they acted. It is now over for good and I’ve made it clear I will never speak to her again. The divorce and moving out still has not happened, though they have been talking about it since late Spring.
I’m torn on telling the husband. There are no kids involved. And she also told me that she had cheated one other time, for a single night, about 10+ years ago when they were having relationship problems. I don’t know if there have been other times.
Additionally, this information could influence how assets and alimony are divided. The husband has made less than her and would be entitled to alimony. He has told her he wouldn’t take alimony. But after finding this out, I expect he may consider changing his mind.
On one hand, I’m hesitating because there’s a part of me that wants to tell the guy for not-great reasons. On the other hand, if I were him, I would absolutely want to know.
I’ve been thinking about this for a couple weeks now, and can’t figure out how to decide on this…
Tell the husband or not?
8 comments
If you were the husband, would you want to know? Only you can decide what is best for you in this situation. You should always treat people how you wish to be treated.
When you fuck married women, it’s foolish to expect them to leave their husbands for you. And why would you want them to? No, don’t tell the husband. Women talk, and the next time you want to bang a married babe they won’t trust you to be discreet.
Hang on.. Info: Was she and the husband separated when you were dating and in the process of getting a divorce?
You need to leave it all alone. Be grateful and move on. You got your karmic return in an instant boomerang. Consider yourself even. Seeking revenge will just reopen the door to h*ll.
I would not tell the husband. Say what you want, and I am sorry if this is too direct, but in your heart of hearts you know you only want to tell him out of spite and hurt feelings. This is her story to tell, should she choose to tell it. You can’t claim “I would want to know” when you proceeded with this woman when she wasn’t divorced yet. I am no saint, I’m not judging you. Believe me when I say I have no room to.
Be aware that (unless theres something missing from your post) all your information about their marriage comes from her, so…
Is she even getting a divirce??
The totslly right thing to do, is tell him.
She cheated on her husband with you, odds are while you were fucking her, he was not aware divirce was contemplated, or he was fighting to save the marriage…
You need to tell him…
And reflect on this… you were her side piece..
Have you ever been cheated on in a relationship??
Oof. I was in a similar situation. He didn’t know they were “separated”.
A few months in she “reconciled” because nice house, fancy appliances, great school district and she could never afford that on her own.
Congratulations, you were the side piece.
Definitely tell the husband. If this is the kind of thing that can influence the end decision then he should definitely know about this. If it was the kind of thing that changed nothing…..then and only then it makes sense to not tell him about it.