My mom wasn’t so nice to me when I was younger, my dad was in the military so he wasn’t around for a portion of my life. So that left my mom taking care of us, she didn’t know how to handle her anger and sadness. She’s had depression since she was young. Her husband was gone and she had three kids to take care of, then we moved and my dad retired. She had to get a job, she worked minimum wage, hated it. She’d come and pick me up from school and tell me how much she hated her life, wanted to kill herself, hated me and then fifteen minutes later once my brother got in the car she would wipe away her tears and ask how my brothers day way and act like nothing happened. She used to think I hated her because I wouldn’t go out to eat with the family because I didn’t want to consume extra calories. She talks more to both of my brothers, with a little extra umph joy.
I abused alcohol from 17-early 19 and my mom found out when she found all her alcohol bottles empty, I gave back the money it all cost. She wanted to kick me out. She didn’t talk to me and wanted nothing to do with me for months. I had started to make really good friends with one other person, and that person and I would make more friends together. I would come home from work, then go out with them. I started to never be home, just to sleep. I got a boyfriend, I started to sleep at his house. My mom started to get upset at me because, as she would call it, I made a new family of people. Which I denied but it was true, I hated being home, I hated how I was treated. That went on for about 4-5 months. I never had a good relationship with her and she’s never tried until now. She asks me what I’m doing, she makes extra food for my friends, she asks questions, she’s so much nicer. She’s like a new person. We’ve had grace periods before but it seems different this time. I haven’t been so nice to her lately, I’ve just been brushing off her attempts to connect with me-ish, she’s doesnt ask me much to do stuff with her. She’s asked me to do stuff as a family a handful of times, and I always say yes. I want to recendle/recindle/recendol our relationship but idk how, there have been multiple times where I’ve considered cutting her out of my life. I’m a little nervous to spend alone time with her, what do you recommend I do to save my relationship with her?
TLDR: how do I save my relationship with my mom?
1 comment
It is not down to you to save your relationship with your mother; nor can you, alone. You would need to start by working through your childhood in therapy. You’ve been parentified your whole life and haven’t had a chance to be a child. I would really recommend therapy to work through your childhood and why you felt the need to create your own family around you.
Where has your dad been in all this, since retirement?