A few months ago, my friend (21m) had reached out to me (18f) and eventually we started to become really good friends since we were so relatable and bonded over things that we were both going through. Like we would chat back and forth every single day throughout the day 24/7 for a month straight. He used to seem super interested in me and how I’m doing and what I was up to. I would even send funny memes or whatever and he would reply to those.
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However, after a month after we’ve met, he started to become distance and our friendship had shifted after he told me that he liked me and wants to be with me and I told him how I felt the same, then the next day proceed to tell me that he likes another girl and that he’s gonna try to get with her. I then cut him off for the disrespect but he requested me again and after we reconcile after what he did to me, we became friends again but our covos were dry and no longer the same even though I was the one that began reaching out to him. I asked him, “Why had our friendship shifted?” All he told me was that he was depressed because of that girl that he liked and didnt know how to talk to me anymore. I started to see him online all day prioritizing his other friends while he took forever to reply to my messages. I don’t expect my friends to always reply to my messages, but considering the fact that we used to chat a lot and he used to be interested in me but no longer seems like he cares about me. Later on I cut him off due to my bpd. However, months later I re added him and apologize.
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We became friends again, everything normal for the first two days. However, weeks later, he doesn’t even reach out to me even though I would reach out to him. He’s in uni right now and I understand that he’s super busy, however, I would also seem him online gaming and he takes days to reply to a simple message when he literally used to reply back asap to my message. He also told me that he’s currently spending his time on that app that we chat on, chatting with another girl that he likes. The only time he message me was today when I was deleting all of my messages due to my bpd, asking if were good. Then he proceed to ask me for advice and I was like yeah sure what’s up. Then he ignored my question and replied to my other message. So then I told him “I hope everything is going well for you!” and a day pass by and no response.
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Tbh with my friend’s behavior, I’m super confused. Like I’m not sure if he actually doesn’t care about me anymore and trying to slowey ignore and ghost me. I mean if he doesn’t want me in his life anymore then I’m not sure why he still has me added. But based off of my situation, what do ya’ll think about this? If you had a friend in your life that was acting like this, would you choose to still have them in your life even if they mean the world to you or just cut them off?
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TL;DR My friend (21M) and I (18F) used to be super closed and chatted every single day and then all of a sudden he started to become distance. He tells me that he cares about me but his behaviour confuses me
2 comments
Hmm, sounds like a bit of a headache of a relationship. It appears that he was initially very friendly and into you as you were ‘new’ and also a potential love interest. But he liked the other girl more, and when he couldn’t get her, couldn’t be bothered to put in the same level of interest with you.
Honestly, he seems like he doesn’t really think of you as a true ‘friend’ but kinda keeping you around in case he decides to pursue you again in the future. I’d personally let the relationship die in your position, he’s wishy washy and only half-in this ‘friendship’.
> “Why had our friendship shifted?”
Do you really need to ask that after what happened? The dynamic of your friendship changed, and it won’t be the same. And frankly, I don’t know why you want him as a friend after the very shitty thing he did to you.
> I mean if he doesn’t want me in his life anymore then I’m not sure why he still has me added
Because doing nothing is easier than doing something