How did you handle the birds and the bees conversation? Or was it even had?

11 comments

1. Funny enough, I was thinking about it few days ago and I don’t remember having that conversation but I knew all that babymaking and sex stuff by the time I went to school.

2. Yes, the conversation was had lol. I guess it depends on the nature of the relationship. I imagine for casuals/hooks ups you’d want to know beforehand and have both people tested if you don’t wanna blindly trust.

   If for a relationship (which was my case), i let him know what I was comfortable with and what I wasn’t comfortable with *yet.* That was about it and we kinda just moved along the relationship and would ask if xyz was alright to do or not.

3. Hi, I think how well this goes depends on what culture of talking you have in the home already.

   I’m assuming you’re talking about you as a parent with a child?

   I would start by making sure children understand correct names for their private parts, what puberty is, what consent means and how to give and retract consent.

   When it comes to the actual birds and bees I would approach it from a scientific point of view at 12+ and if it comes up from 8+ give a more broad view of it boiling down to how a woman (or person with uterus) grows a baby inside of them and at the end the baby comes out.

   There are SO many wonderful puberty and reproduction books out there for kids and teenagers. If you’re unsure of the facts yourself and don’t know where to start get one of these and sit down and read it with your kid. Or let them read on their own and discuss after.

   I am a middle school teacher so I do this every year!

   If you are doing the birds and the bees with a 14+ yr old talk about contraception, how it works, and how they can access it and what your reaction would be if they came to ask you for advice or for access to something specific.

   Above all, be open, be kind, be calm, take your time. 👋🏼

4. Me: We should talk about sex.

   13 year old: It’s fine. We learn about it at school.

   Me: OK, so we don’t need to have the Tab A goes in Slot B conversation then.

   13 year old: :helpless with laughter for ten minutes:

   It went well, I feel. He’s now an adult and hasn’t accidentally impregnated his girlfriend, anyway.

5. i learned about sex on the bus. i was in kindergarten and the 5th graders were making jokes about it. i never thought of it as a big deal (i mean talking about it, not the actual act)

6. as a parent of two teens, we’ve had plenty of conversations about sex (and STDs, alcohol, masturbation, drugs, porn, abuse, mental health…everything. All topics are welcome and discussed openly/honestly). Started when they were younger (maybe about 7 or so?) about their bodies and as they got older and started asking more questions, I just told them the facts about whatever they were asking about. Most of the time, they’d cut me off and scream “EWWWWW!” and ran upstairs (LOL) but then they’d come back down afterwards and continue asking questions. I never flinched or made it weird; I told them the truth and presented the facts….said that I would much rather they get real *accurate* information from me instead of their friends or the internet so they can make informed decisions if the situation ever presents itself.

7. I started the sex education when my daughter was a toddler and it was an ongoing conversation throughout her life. Age appropriate add on throughout the years. No shame, judgement or misinformation.

8. I don’t remember having that conversation at all with my parents. We had a shitty class about it, but most of the stuff I knew I learned from reading books with sex in them.

9. I had sex ed in school. Never had the birds n bee stuff with my parents.

10. I was raised by a single father who just didn’t know how to have those intimate discussions with a growing girl. He tried his best, but when we had “that” discussion it came off as more of a warning. Not a threat, but what he said was “you’re at that age. I know you are, I’m not stupid, just don’t fuck your life up. Look at all of your deadbeat cousins. Been, nowhere, going nowhere, nobodies with kids they can’t raise because they were stupid. You’re smarter and better than all of them. Continue being smarter and better. Just don’t throw your life away before you even experience it.”

    That was our father daughter talk about sex. Our family is full of addicts, convicts, and burdens to society so I get it. I totally understand where he was coming from.

11. Never really had the convo, I had older siblings and just learned things from school & self discovery. However once I was old enough to engage in sexual activities and had a boyfriend ( around 15-16) I did get the birth control talk which I agreed with because I wasn’t about to have a baby lol