Like you just can’t seem to belong to any group of people. Other people can have opinions, values, be confident, etc. But you get shamed if you try and do the same?

22 comments

  3. I grew u isolated because of my controlling parents. They had to live in a small suburb with my school bully and the bullys minion School and all the possible friends lived in another town that took almost one hour to get to on a bus. A lack of early experience just keeps me behind everyone else socially. Everyone else has such great conversations and girlfriends and friends. I keep struggling while being embarassed by social mistakes.

  4. So for a long time. I only feel “right” when I was high on mushrooms MDNA, making love to someone I really cared about, or playing basketball.

    I am surrounded by a loving family and lots of friends.

    Human experience is complex. I think partly because modern life is safer, we feel less satisfied. Just imagine walking in the woods and having a bear jump out and kill the people around you. You would feel amazing just to have survived.

  5. Yep I’ve been that way my whole life, I can get on well with just about anyone but I can’t build close relationships with anyone. I’ve had a weird upbringing and life that almost no one can relate to so that doesn’t help. Tbh pushing myself outside my comfort zone has helped a bit but I know I’ll be this way for the rest of my life

  7. You get shamed for being confident, having values and opinions? What opinions do you have?

  8. Dexamphetamine + Adult ADHD diagnosis.

    …

    Then several years later, hypnotherapy with theta-wave healing by a clinical hypnotherapist. The theta-wave nonsense just means learning to relax and unknotting the knots in your subconscious.

    Now, I belong to myself and the group may do as it pleases.

    Oh, and also, learning this at some point: You don’t have to be nice to family. In fact, they can be the worst people in your life. Ask yourself how you feel every time you’ve spent time with them. If it’s bad, then they are bad for you. You have a right to not see them any more. You have a right to cut them out of your life.

    I obviously cut them out and I felt great doing it.

  9. We are spiritual beings having human experiences. Rather than human beings having spiritual experiences. I hope this helps. And realize you are not alone from feeling outcasted at times.

  10. Getting older, I realized that being popular requires being a normie, and I don’t envy that.

  15. I did overcome it… 2 ways: just find “your people” (it’s easier if you travel or live in big cities and put in the effort of meeting many people with an open mind ). More people you meet, more likely it is to build real connections and find like-minded humans. So you start to think that the “normal “ experience actually it’s just the “most common” but a lot of people feel they don’t belong or are “different” and they are so so so so many as well

    Second way … life experience. After a while I was just too busy paying bills, building an acceptable career, getting decent sleep, dealing with health issues of the people around me etc… so I didn’t care as much.

  17. Yes. It’s gotten worse over the last 10 years and I haven’t overcome it.
    I think that’s just how it is now!

  19. I wish people said how old they are. I think a lot of people feel this way when they are maybe teens-25yr old. I see you wrote “normal” in quotes, so to understand there really is no normal. It’s not right to feel shamed when expressing yourself, as long as you are not condoning violence or hate. If people are shaming you, try to find different people to talk to.

  20. I feel you heavy

    I feel like I can’t conjoin with all the mannerisms and rules, I feel like skipping a little. Mostly because of my stutter and social anxiety (both affecting each other). Like for instance I hate “Good Morning”, “How are you?” and goodbyes. Any of those polite things that should be automated I struggle with because of my stutter and yeah idk. I feel you.

  21. Good news: Maybe everyone feels this way. I do.
    Bad news. I’m not sure it will end.
    Answer: Overcome it just by knowing that everyone is like this and your not alone. For me, there’s is no such thing as “normal” human experience. We all are going through something. We learn from it.

  22. I know this feeling, it makes you feel odd.

    If I talk about my case there was friend of mine in previous class she was a extrovert and I liked spending time with her (I never thought of making any other friend or socializing coz I already have one) but few months back she shifted to another city and here I was with almost no friend in school but I got enough time to prepare myself for this before the new session starts, I did what I planned I tried socializing and was pretty successful at it, I even talked to those who I didn’t though I had intrest in, it took some time but I got along with my new and even few old classmates.

    Now I particularly don’t have a best friend I just got a bunch of people with whom I’m now not awkward in talking and spending time.

    I still get a feeling sometimes that I’m being left alone but to be honest if you’re also suffering through this you’re the only one who can solve this, you should be able to start a convo , talk about your interst ,daily life and start having small talks even with a person who is totally new for you.

    Now I try my best to not being alone in school so that I don’t get such thoughts that I’m such a lonely, engage yourself in something you enjoy, complete your school work and its also okay to laugh a bit with random people in your free periods in school so that you won’t get a feeling that everyone is enjoying their school days but you’re not( I know it will be hard to fight such thoughts but you’ll be totally fine with this in a time and stop thinking that you need a particular person to be happy and enjoy life)

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