struggling to make my partner c*m

i haven’t shared this with anyone because i feel so much guilt and shame over it but i (19F) and my partner (20NB) have been together for over a year and i’ve never managed to make them cum. we don’t have sex often — maybe once a month or less — because they’re on the asexual spectrum and have a very low sex drive. but when we do, i feel so guilty afterwards because i get off but they don’t.

i’ve tried pretty much everything i can think of — clitoral stimulation, penetration, nipple stimulation, etc.. but they don’t seem to like any of it. i thought it was because i’m simply bad at it but they’ve assured me it has nothing to do with me and they just get in their own head and can’t focus. they also have told me they experience a fair amount of gender dysphoria when it comes to sex and their genitals. i don’t want to make them uncomfortable and i’ve also tried over and over again, so recently i’ve stopped offering to reciprocate. i feel bad, but i also don’t know what i would do that would be any different from what we’ve established doesn’t work. now sex is just about me and i HATE that because i know they’re not getting anything out of it.

anyone with trans partners who experience gender dysphoria around their genitals have sex advice?? or anyone with ace/ace spectrum partners? i don’t know what to do but i want so so so badly to be able to get them there.

help!