**TL;DR** Partner only plays video games all day and night and never spends time with me. It sucks. What do I do?

My partner and I have been together for 7 years and we live together. I’m miserable. She’s a good person, but I feel like I’m constantly neglected. She doesn’t work since she lost her job a few years ago and spends literally all of her time playing video games. 16+ hours a day of video games and hanging out with her buddies on discord.

When I’m done with work for the day I’ll usually message her and ask her to hang out. 9/10 times she’s too busy in the game. The 1/10 times we do see each other it’s usually for an hour or two and then she’ll go back to gaming. We live together but I probably see her less than 15 minutes on most days. She almost never wants to leave the house, but once a month or so I’ll get her to go out somewhere with me. We have a great time, but then we get back..and it’s video game time again.

I’m just so frustrated and lonely. She doesn’t do anything productive, she makes a giant chaotic mess out of the house, and I barely see her. We’ve been together so long that I don’t want to just leave and I do really care about her and think she’s a good person, but it’s just so unfulfilling and it has been for awhile. :-/

We’re also totally dead-bedroom. We’re poly so we have fun with other people, but with her not working and not paying any attention to me I’ve just lost like all physical desire for her. We went to counseling once, but she didn’t like the counselor and just noped out of the process.

Where do I go from here? How do I know when it’s enough? Should I have some kind of intervention about her video game playing? I feel like it’s ruining our lives.

12 comments

  2. Dude you get out.. you know that is what needs to be done. Think about the time you are wasting with her that you could be spending with someone else…

  3. >We’re poly so we have fun with other people

    Mention how you’ve had fun with someone impressive and see how she reacts.

  5. >Where do I go from here?

    You tell her the relationship has ran it’s course and it’s time to go your separate ways. You want a real relationship, with someone who actually sees you and takes care of you and your needs and she just wants to game all day, she doesn’t even bother to spend more time with you.

  6. >Were poly

    Lmao. Oh lord I should’ve seen this coming.

    She has other people to fill her emotional needs is my most likely guess. You thought you could have your cake and eat it too. It seems like she’s found fulfillment in pretty much everyone but you.

    One of the downsides of poly relationships that people within them will vehemently deny and arent resdy to admit: it is hard as fucking hell being there for just one person. When you add multiple people into the mix, all that energy and time gets split and eventually someone is gonna feel left out.

    This time, that’s you.

    So unless you wanna spend all day playing RDR2 role play servers (Jesus fucking christ), might be time to re evaluate how much you love fucking other people in a relationship.

  7. She fucks other people, hangs out with other people excluding you, and doesn’t work or contribute. This person is not your partner, they are 100% using you and literally, absolutely nothing else.

  9. In my opinion, there is no relationship at this point. If you can barely even see her for more than 15 minutes, while living together, then what is left in this relationship? There’s no communication, she’s lazy, doesn’t want to work things out with counselling, doesn’t want to get a job, and clearly does not have her priorities in life set straight.

    I genuinely think you are better off leaving this relationship and finding someone who makes time for you and is focused on their career, life, and you, instead of their discord buddies.

  10. I don’t know how you could live like that. Just check with a lawyer before booting her to the street. Don’t know what your laws are concerning common law marriage and such.

  12. LOL the comments are so stupid. I just want to commentary on being to this is not or even being to this point what people think of me pointing to me as being

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like