How do you do it?? I’ve never been in a casual relationship with anyone ever, but now I (23F) am in one with a guy (22M). Like we met on a dating app and I am looking for a relationship, just not with him so I proposed casual and he agreed. I’m positive I won’t catch feelings but I do get attached easily and over think a lot. So, how do y’all have casual sex without catching feelings or when the times come to end do you do it gently??
6 comments
Quite easily.
I am very casual and socially inept, while everyone else is doing the sex part.
I’ve only had one casual relationship, it’s when I was younger and out every Friday/Saturday night. We met via a mutual friend, she got my number, text a few times, then it would just be a booty call at the end of the night for each of us – either we’d both be in town and share a taxi back to mine or she’d randomly rock up at my front door at 2am on a Wednesday night!!
Looking back, it was great. No feelings, just both getting an itch scratched.
So every time I’ve tried being casual, I have always ended up catching feelings, even if I never wanted to. I think it’s the total vulnerability during sex that makes me do that. I don’t care who looks at my body, but I care very much who ends up inside my body.
If I match with someone local enough to me and with similar interests, what I do is first we discuss safe sex and likes/dislikes to set boundaries. From there if we meet it has to initially be at a neutral location, where we can further establish a likeness, expectations and boundaries. Then hopefully we are able to proceed. If that goes well, who knows it could develop into a convenient FWB arrangement.
everybody probably has their take on casual , and from what said in your post im not your a good candidate . lol its got to be about the sex the physical , i dont swap any real personal feelings or details unless it involves them . like one stands if you have never had one, casual sex is probably not for you . just one mans opinion
You just… do it? Sometimes you develop feelings for a hookup, sure, but sometimes you’re just not in a place to date, or don’t want to date the person you’re hooking up with by mutual agreement. I hooked up with women who I basically chased away by getting too attached. I’ve also been a booty call for for other women, and never really thought much about them beyond the 2-3 times per month that we’d meet up for sex.
If you like someone and try to be fwbs with them in the hope they’ll eventually like you, you’ll have a bad time every single time.