Why is it awkward to talk to people in airplanes and on public transit?

22 comments

1. People like to talk when they’re in a good mood. No sober and sane person on public transit or in coach on a plane is in a good mood.

2. Usually I find it awkward to talk with someone on a plane because I don’t want to feel pressured to talk with them for an entire three hour long flight. I doubt it’s just an American thing.

3. Because you’re just sorta trapped in there together and the other person can’t get away if you make them uncomfortable or won’t stop talking.

4. I can’t speak for all Americans, but for me, I’m there to get from point A to point B. Not to talk to random people that just so happen to be going from point A to B as well. I’m not going to know the person next to me after the flight, so what’s the point of getting to know them during. Plus, I’m not a talkative person to begin with.

5. No booze on public transit and [not enough] on airplanes.

6. I can’t speak for anyone else, but personally:

   A) I typically don’t enjoy being on any form of public transportation. It’s loud, crowded, uncomfortable, and I don’t want to be there. This makes me [cranky](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=myD6jR7YMO4&pp=ygURVGhlIHNhZG5lc3Mgc2NlbmU%3D), and therefore, far less inclined to indulge strangers in conversation (unless they’re hot or uncommonly interesting).

   B) Most people who strike up conversations in this setting usually misinterpret “conversation” as “talking my ear off about something I ***do not*** give a shit about,” at best, and “talking my ear off about something I vehemently disagree with” at worst.

   Example: I once had a co-worker who talked to me for literally *WEEKS* about how Halo is single-handedly the most perfect story ever written. Different scenario, but same principle. I don’t like being socially trapped by strangers.

7. Because I don’t wanna talk to you

8. Maybe because you have no idea if you have anything in common.The only times I’ve talked to others on public transit was when we were all going to the same place for a ball game, like football and baseball. People are wearing team gear and excited. You’re united by the hope of a win, and in a good mood. Makes it easier to talk to others.

9. I have had wonderful conversations with people on planes but you have to read the room. Some folks just want to get from A to B.

   Public transit is almost always and universally “I just want to get where I’m going.”

10. 1) nobody normal has ever spoken to me on public transit ever. I think you wouldn’t come across as friendly or genuine. I once tried to get a guy’s attention because he left his umbrella on the bus and he pretended I wasn’t there (or legitimately couldn’t hear me through his headphones) and I was dressed in business casual from work, didn’t look crazy I don’t think. I feel like people really just have enough bad experiences on public transit they’re hyper focused on point A to B

    2) airplanes are really tough for me because you’re kind of captive there for like 3-5 hours on average. When do you stop talking? Do you have to talk forever? When is it rude to stop? It’s a bit different than in line at the store or on the street (more than happy to!) because you can just, ya know, dip out immediately if you want but on a plane I never know the proper way. Like I bring a book to read but if I kind of peter the conversation out to read my book am I conveying that my seatmate is boring? It gives me so much anxiety

11. I mainly know about public transit. And I know that, since I moved to NYC ten years ago, I’ve only had about six conversations on the street or subway, that *didn’t* end up with someone hitting me up for money.

    Anyway, most people are sort of mentally somewhere else when on the subway- either where they’re going or where they left.

12. I’m cordial and friendly when I know I’ll only be around you for a few minutes. If I’m stuck in a tube with you, I’ll still talk and be nice, but you better be interesting and want to talk about a mutual interest. I don’t want to hear about your kids or your new water heater.

13. It’s considered rude to have a captive audience. If somebody doesn’t want to talk they can always bow out of the conversation gracefully. You can’t really do this on a plane, or in transit w/ out looking rude.

14. I think it’s more that the other places where you think it does apply are more conducive to conversation. What are those places?

15. Because they’re not there to socialize. Most of them are probably headed to/from work and aren’t in the mood for a chat.

16. Riding public transit is in the same category as walking quickly down the sidewalk – we got stuff to do and are focused on getting somewhere.

17. Because you can’t walk away when the conversation completes its natural course, meaning you either sit in awkward silence or have to talk when you don’t want to.

18. I think it is a respect for other peoples personal space and privacy

19. I talk to people on planes all the time when I fly.

20. Because being trapped with a potentially annoying/creepy stranger in a moving tin can is a little too much like a hostage situation for most people.

21. I find it hard to have any sort of conversation on planes because it’s too loud, and I don’t have conversations on public transit because I’m a country bumpkin who has to focus on not missing my stop.

    I did have a really nice chat with a lady from South Carolina when I was stuck in the security line for damn near two hours at SeaTac last summer.

22. Because I want to read my book or listen to my audiobook, not talk with a complete stranger I care nothing about.