What can I do to make socialising feel less like a duty and more like something enjoyable?

(English is my 2nd language, so please excuse any mistakes.) As a child hanging out with other kids always felt like a duty. Something you have to do, no matter if you like it or not, like homework or getting out of bed on time. I didn’t see the point in seeing classmates in the afternoon because I already had to deal with them at school. I only did it because my parents wanted me to. All I wanted to do was watch TV, play with my two younger siblings, and play with my stuff without having to compromise or share. I am now 27(f) and realise that having a network can be very beneficial, job-wise and in the activism I do. I do have very few friends and a boyfriend but I would like to “expand”. I downloaded bumble for friends and already have a few matches, but everytime I think of texting someone I think to myself “I don’t want to. It is exhausing. I don’t *need* to do this. There is nobody who demands this thing of me. So why should I do it? I am a complete and valuable person no matter my social circle. I am independent. I do not exist to please others. People are not entitled to my attention.” I try to not let the size of my social circle influence my self-worth but I still can’t fully free myself of the ideology I was raised with by my environment (“Having no friends means you are a loser and something is wrong with you”). Seeing the notification on bumble or reminding myself to ask a friend to hang out always reminds me of the pressure my parents put on me, so I enter a state of defiance and do not text the person. It feels like submitting to some non-existent authority. Is the work you have to do to befriend someone supposed to be this exhausting and annoying? I’m talking about thinking of questions you can ask the other person, remembering facts about the person’s life so you can use that in conversations, trying to figure out the other person’s emotions and views, then distancing myself from those views if they don’t align with mine, considering the other person’s needs, finding the time to hang out by rushing though my errands instead of doing them in a relaxed way, switching between the different personalities of different people, etc. I also find it hard to switch my focus between work-mode and socialising-mode when I’m at work. Isn’t the whole socialising-thing supposed to add value to my life? Am I just a lazy asshole (if yes pls elaborate and don’t insult)? Did anyone have similar struggles and maybe some suggestions on how to overcome this? Eta: I was tested for autism a few years ago but since I didn’t have any developmental issues as a child (e.g. troubles learning to walk or to read) I do not fit the diagnostic system in my country.