TLDR: had performance issues two nights in a row, lost my cool, girl dumps me, don’t know how to process my feelings.
First time with this girl. Here we are at her place when I finally muster the courage to go for the kiss. After a minute or two of kissing she suggests going to the bedroom. I finished before actually doing it. She was cool about it and I was prepared for something of this sort to happen so although feeling bad I didn’t really get too emotional.
Next day we try again. This time we discussed my previous experience and how I felt nervous. I couldn’t maintain an erection while putting on a condom. She got impatient and gave me a disappointed look.
At this point my nerves cracked and I had a complete mental breakdown. I overshared things like how I feared exactly this would happen or how I care too much about the opinion of others or how I am scared to visit a doctor because what if there is something wrong with me.
After that night she has kept her distance. When I asked about us she replied there is absolutely no chance and we must have a serious discussion of my issues. She says I am unstable and my reactions are not fitting my age. Almost two weeks later this conversation is yet to come.
In conclusion, I realize I messed up. I let my insecurities get the best of me and overshared too early on into the relationship. My friends say that I am not to blame and she was too harsh on me but I can’t stop blaming myself. I don’t understand why can’t I deserve a chance? How to move on from this? How to stop feeling like a pathetic looser? I can’t really blame her for loosing interest since sexual compatibility is important to relationships but I feel wronged – one mistake from my end and it’s all over.
2 comments
Talk to your doctor work on yourself. Sex is mainly about confidence:) and great communication :). You’re anxiety is getting in the way of your performance and that’s honestly ok. It’s like doing anything with pressure it’s stressful and difficult what’s not ok is how you reacted toward her. You should accept the fact and apologize maybe she’ll forgive if you. As for the bedroom issues start slow and have a plan 🙂 and slowly build your confidence. Rooting for you OP
This happens to every guy – don’t fret.
When I went through a similar issue like this with my gf we just talked and dialed things back and then went back much more slowly and things were fixed. Her leaving you is a reflection of her, not you.
Also remember to lay off porn