So my boyfriend and I were talking about how the bipolar meds I’m on have helped. “But they’ve also made me gain weight, which you know I hate,” I said. (I’m happy at 105 lbs, but that’s when my ribs are showing, healthy weight is about 135 lbs for me. When I got sober, I gained about 20 extra pounds.) He replied “You’re not THAT fat.” What do y’all think about that comment? (Side note: he also talks A LOT of shit about fat people, it’s pretty much the thing he’s the most judgmental about. We can’t all be as gorgeous as him.)
5 comments
It wasn’t the nicest comment by him but you also kinda baited him into it by bringing it up. You should have left it on you both agreeing the positives of taking the medication. I think you should try to view his comment as being accepting of your bodily changes because while he was rude, it could have been a lot less supportive and you’re the one who launched into the topic unnecessarily.
It’s super typical for bipolar people to come up with reasons not to take their medication, usually because they miss the mania. This is more prevalent in female bipolar patients.
https://journalbipolardisorders.springeropen.com/articles/10.1186/s40345-019-0154-z#:~:text=For%20most%20patients%20with%20bipolar,drugs%20in%20the%20medication%20regimen.
You should keep taking your medication, and not try to leverage this comment into stopping your treatment.
Why even discuss your weight with him when he gets off on fat-shaming people? People like your boyfriend often go out of their way to comment on someone else’s body because they are unhappy with themselves in some way. It comes from a place of insecurity and a place of needing to feel good about themselves by tearing others down. I bet he wouldn’t have the balls to say anything nasty to their faces though, it’s all behind their backs. That’s because all bullies are cowards. Your boyfriend is a bully and his little comment of saying “you’re not THAT fat” is him trying squirm out of saying anything too nasty to your face. Because deep down he knows it’s wrong.
I would re-evaluate your need to be with someone who is insecure and mean like him.
Have you considered that he didn’t mean it that way and is just fucking stupid? Conversations like this panic guys and he could’ve just chosen his words really, really poorly. Just tell him what you felt about what he said. Ask him to clarify what he meant.
If you don’t want him to acknowledge your weight gain, don’t bring up your weight gain in a conversation with him.