What would you make of this?
My partner has mentioned being sorry he doesn’t “satisfy” me but also makes no effort to do anything. I don’t wanna say he’s making excuses but for example he wants to shower before having sex but then doesn’t do it. He just continues watching videos on YouTube or play a game. He often gets hard but does not do anything with it and if I ask if he wants to have sex it’s often “tomorrow okay?” But tomorrow comes and goes. When I say we barely have sex he tells me that’s not true until I point out how we can go 1/2 weeks without if not longer, then he says “that’s true”. I stopped initiating sex by asking because he 9/10 times rejects it and I don’t wanna be pushy. Sometimes I try touching him but it leads to nothing so I stop.
On the other hand I know he used to watch porn and receive nudes from other women. So that part confuses me to why he’s like this with me. And no he doesn’t do any of that anymore. I am starting to wonder if he might be on the asexual spectrum?
I’m really lost and confused lol.
13 comments
He’s a porn addict, and this won’t get better. Walk away.
How are other aspects of your relationship aside from sex? Sounds like he’s either depressed or isn’t that into you.
You need to sit down with him, not in the moment, and have a conversation about this. Tell him how you feel; don’t just point out the situation (which he already knows). Ask if he’d like you to do something different. And if he insists nothing’s wrong and he’s just not in the mood, suggest he talk to his doctor.
Did you specify your kinks to him?
Hey, I agree with you and others here , sit him down and explain just how you’re feeling atm.
Also address the elephant in the room, his failure to perform or making excuses not to want to be with you.
These distraction tactics are classic “ in denial” indicators I’m afraid, I’m not sure he’s asexual but definitely something not right. Him not showering is a defensive strategy so you don’t want to go near. He’s saying he is on his way to the bedroom then spending time online whilst you grow more frustrated in the bedroom means, he’s got a mental of physical condition that’s blocking him from sustaining an erection or, worse case scenario, he’s got himself “friends” in the gaming community that he chats with, or more.
I wish you well and see that you’ve had some amazing support and comments from the community.
Let us know how you get along, any feedback or constructive criticism from you, the OP would be most welcomed.
Have a positive weekend my friend.
I’ve been lately trying to live by the “let them” rule. Let them show them who they are….and make your decision based off of that.
I fought for years with my partner on so many things, looking back I just wanted his actions and words to align. Turns out, words are cheap. Actions show a persons true priorities. Period end of statement.
You let them be them and then decide if that’s who you want to be with.
Perhaps he doesn’t have a high libido?
He is a lazy ass and a procrastinator. He needs counselling from a good psychologist
Is he depressed? Or maybe ADHD?
IF this was important to him then HE’D talk to his doctor. If he WANTED things to be different then he’d make them different. He KNOWS you’re not satisfied and even though he will apologize for it, he won’t put any ACTION into it. Pun intended.
The point is, I’m betting he’s avoidant. Been there and done that with someone. My best advice is RUN.
Sounds like he’s not very present in the relationship and only pays lip service.
Attempting to force a disinterested, aloof man to care about and attend to you is a complete waste of time.
Is your boyfriend a politician?