I am (m 20) and i met a really attractive and friendly girl (f 20) in the first semster of Uni. We often went to lectures together or with Friends and would sometimes meet up to study together. I started falling really fast for her and thought that she may also find me attractive because we talked one time about our past relationships and she was really surprised and shocked when I told her I never had one. So i tried to ask her out in the second semester and messed it up quiet badly.
Because i am so unexperienced with Girls (i never had a girlfriend not even a Date) i just asked her if we both should hang out together. I told her that i would think of an activity we could do and asked her a few days later if we should go eat Pizza together and then just walk a bit in the Park. She agreed and me being stupid like always thought she saw this all as a Date despite me Never mentioning the Word Date.
So the day comes where we want to meet and she says to me that she is sorry and can Not meet because she forgot that she was visiting her grandparents that day and tells me we should do it another day. So at this Point i should have known that she just so it as two Friends doing something but i was delusional so i texted her the next day Good Morning and asked her if she just wanted to meet the next Weekend she responded the Next day agreeing.
Another Moment where i could have realised that she saw this Wohle Thing as just a friendly hang out because she responded more than 24 hours later and now thinking about it I think she did it because she was weirded out by my good morning text. I never texted her something like that and I think that was the moment when she started to realise I saw it as a date.
So the next weekend she cancels again now because she needed to pick up her mother from the airport and her dad couldn’t. So I asked her out again for the next weekend and she agrees again. The day we want to meet she asks me if I saw this as a date I tell her yes and apologise for not being clear enough. She tells me that she only saw it friendly and I tell her that it is okay and my fault for not asking her out directly on a date.
I was really embarrassed and felt bad after this and because she stopped university we never talked again. This was 5 months ago and I still feel bad because I lost a friend I liked and I fear that she thought I just wanted to date her and trick her into it. We still follow each other on Instagram and I still have her number and she also still lives in the same city so I want to contact her again and ask if we could hang out as friends again but I don’t know how to do it. Also to all girls reading this how would you feel about this if you were in her position.
2 comments
if i were her i would be uncomfortable with trying to be friends with someone who clearly has feelings for me. i think its dependent on whether or not you can genuinely move past your feelings for her—if you can, it’s worth a friendly text message to say hi and let her know you’d still love to be friends if she’s interested but you respect her space.
I’ve tried being friends with people who had feelings for me in the past, and it usually doesn’t work out until they find another partner, and even then…
My advice is to show “proof” that you’ve moved on, i.e. find a girlfriend first.