Men with BPD wives, how do you manage?

17 comments

1. Good luck:

   [https://bpdfamily.com/](https://bpdfamily.com/)

   [https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict](https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict)

   [https://www.nicolamethodforhighconflict.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Introduction-to-the-Nicola-Method.pdf](https://www.nicolamethodforhighconflict.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Introduction-to-the-Nicola-Method.pdf)

   Arm chair diagnosing here, but I think my ex was BPD/NPD and it ended in divorce. I did all I could, but she wouldn’t attend therapy and malingered a court ordered psych evaluation. They need to be in treatment if she has an actual diagnosis. If she isn’t in treatment, I would strongly advocate leaving and working on co-dependency issues. If she is in treatment, be prepared for 3-7 years of hard work.

2. BPD women are a good fit for narcissists.

3. Do you feel like your in the middle of the jungle after your plane crash landed? …buddy I can help you. BPD is complex, unique and all consuming. DM me and let’s talk about it.

4. r/BPDlovedones

5. Is she in Therapy and willing to work on herself? Give it a try.

   If she isn’t doing both of those two things? Just run away – it is not worth it.

6. Borderline or Biploar? There’s a massive difference.

   If it’s Borderline, you don’t manage, you end it. Divorcing my exwBorderline was by far the best decision of my entire life.

7. Borderline there is only 1 option. Leave her

8. Waiting to see if my old friend posts here, his wife caused me to end the friendship. Though I wish the best for them.

9. Steps that worked for me:

   – Spent a few years slowly going crazy.

   – Got myself into therapy to get some objective feedback on my situation.

   – Worked over time to get wife into joint therapy.

   – Wife immediately rejected therapy when asked what she might be contributing to our situation.

   – Initiated separation and divorce.

   – Spent years being gaslighted and setting boundaries while attempting to co-parent with her.

   – Twenty years later – free!

10. Borderline Personality Disorder of Bipolar Disorder? As someone who’s dated both, this is what I’ll say

    Borderline Personality Disorder was way too much for me and will definitely say it’s valid if you feel the same. It felt like walking on egg shells. From not texting goodnight, you asking if they’d like to meet my parents and then them blowing up in your face, to getting an answer wrong on a “pop quiz”, it was so tense. I was in a bad spot and felt that being in a relationship would help. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in that relationship and I was definitely young then, but knowing what I know now, I would feel like I’d be in over my head

    I am now dating someone who is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Although it’s lightyears way less tense, it still has its moments. My approach is to communicate when there’s low points and how to approach them in a case by case basis. Granted I’m older and have a better grasp on myself, but who’s to say this would be a good approach with someone who’s been diagnosed with the former

11. This is one of the most difficult ailments and you won’t the solution here. Only professionals can help. Need to see a therapist.

12. BPD? Big Pink Dildo?

13. Oof there’s a lot of stigma here. Symptoms of BDD tend to decrease with age even without treatment. However, a relationship with a good psychotherapist is amazing for giving the person tools to manage their emotions and lessen their harmful impact on others.

14. Managed for five years then got divorced. That was the best decision

15. I’ve heard women with BPD are hell on earth.

16. Go on runs, specifically in the direction away from her and don’t come back

17. Look up Paul Elam’s work about BPD on YouTube.