So, my girlfriend has a “friend” (22M) who she regards as one of her closer friends. I’ve always been okay with the friendship, but always found it a bit odd how close they were.
One day she tells me to send him a msg as she was driving and an old photo came up of her, with her vibrator in the shower that was sent to him whilst we were together. She wasn’t using it in the photo, but it was in the shower with the vibrator clearly in view. I didn’t bring it up, and pretended like I didn’t see anything.
Maybe I’m overthinking it, but it just seems very odd to me.
What would you do in this situation?
33 comments
I mean I just get the feeling you should be distancing yourself from that chick take it or leave it
I don’t understand, was the photo sexual or not? Or was it just a normal photo? Why send him photos in the shower if they are just friends??
*UPDATE*
Sorry I should’ve clarified. The photo is of her holding the vibrator in the shower as a selfie. I know she uses it in the shower on occasion as well. It wasn’t in the background
I would certainly seek clarification from her as to how she thought an I’m going to masturbate selfie from the shower was appropriate to send to someone who is just” a friend”
I have a male best friend and I would never send him a photo of me in the shower, let alone one of me in the shower holding a vibrator. Not now that I’m in a relationship, but not even when I was single. What’s the point of sending such a photo? What were they talking about and how did the conversation go after this?
There are certain boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed, and this absolutely is one of them for me.
Well pretty much confirms her and this friend have had sex before. Question is whether they’ve had sex since you two started dating or not.
Nah that is wild
Ex girlfriend just by the title, why do people keep posting posts like this and then still claim them.
If you ask her about it she’ll just gaslight you. It’s cheating. Break up with her.
Bright future for her on onlyfans.
I know I don’t send any of my friends pictures like that
assuming you’re both on the same page about your boundaries and what makes you uncomfortable, i would consider this a form of cheating. it’s possible it was a weird joke depending on the context of the message, but i would still be uncomfortable with it as a joke and i think you should have a serious talk. if you feel like she’s lying to you or that you have a bad feeling leaving the conversation then it’s time to listen to your gut and go.
This is the result of lack of proper boundaries. There’s a high probability that they’ve been involved before on a more intimate level or will be.
There’s no reason ever for a partner to send pics of themselves in the shower to someone other than their own partner. Personally, I would say it’s time to end it.
So she was naked in the pic? Or just the vibrator in the shower? Either way, he’s not just a friend.
Talk to her about what you’ve seen, express your concerns. And if it presses your boundaries I would cut my losses and find someone else
She cheats on you. You know that, right?
So she sent nude of herself to him ? weather using vibrator not If my GF i d be thinking they fucking.I lose trust and with out trust it be over!!! why send him any photos if they just good friends I could see if was like vacation pics scenery But pics of her ?
That’s inappropriate
That’s fuckin weird. No. Hell no.
How about you share the photo so we can all be the judg? I sure hope you’re single by now at least.
Oh yeah, that “Friend” she told you to not worry about…
That’s a huge red flag right there.
I mean, I have that type of friendship where I would send a pic of a toy like that as a joke, maybe seriously if the situation called for it but a selfie in the bathroom while holding a vibrator? Clothed or not, that’s a no for me chief. That entire thing screams “AFFAIR” imo or, at the very least, “EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE”
I would dump her. Clearly, she’s has no respect for you, and a little too close to a male friend to be letting him know she’s in the shower with a vibrator
Bro this is really wrong, i don’t see much point talking with her about it, she’s going to downplay it or twisted so you can accept it, her friend was in her life before you and is going to be after you, she’s going to prioritize him over you, i don’t know what kind of relationship they have but base on this, is something i wouldn’t be comfortable with and it’ll be a deal breaker for me
There is an attraction between them, for sure a brother/sister closeness bond without the weird relatial attachments so they’re “free” to discuss sexually explicit stuff. He knows a lot about your sex life you can be assured of that- he may know as much about it as you do. She knows about his sex life, and what he likes in bed. He knows what she likes in bed. I’ve valued my friendships with men that we could openly discuss sex or our partners but they almost always turned sexual unless there was a boundary why we COULDN’T like we were actually related and therefore would t be all the way free, or we lived in different states or worked different shifts or lived with someone.
The problem with your situation and ages is the developing maturity and the freedom they share. How do you know that the two of them won’t confuse their closeness with romantic love, or that its not currently developing into romantic love or one day turn into romantic love? Being in a relationship with another person is too soft of a boundary for the both of them to not become sexual if she felt comfortable to send that picture while in a relationship. There’s already a sexual component to their friendship.
I would only ever send a visual picture like that to someone I feel sexy in front of, who I want to envision me using it, that crossed the boundaries of close brother sister friendship. That’s going to be the brother/ friend who is her best man at your wedding and toasting you both, giving you the best gift, while secretly being all your future kid’s actual dad and you’ll only find out when one of them needs a bone marrow transfusion in his 40’s. I just saw that happens to someone. Me personally I would have a problem with it, unless she doesn’t have an issue with you developing a close relationship like that with another girl. But I would t waste my time I’d cut my losses. It’s bigger than you. This is about her learning and exploring her body and what she wants to do.
There is more going on between those 2 than you are privy to. She cheated on you. Sending photos like that to someone other than your SO is cheating. I would exit right and be done with this chick.
The only time I would ever send a suggestive/nude pic to anyone would be if I was:
1) flirting / sexting / teasing
2) getting paid
3) to a female friend asking if a freckle looked normal
Sending a shower pic that is clearly sexual in nature and intention leads to one conclusion: there is sexual attraction and tension between she and her “friend” they may have had a sexual history she hadn’t told you about, or at least wants/wanted one and she likes the attention he gives her.
If you are looking for a safe, mature, committed and monogamous relationship, I do not think you will be having one with this person.
Good luck Op. I would call this one off if I were you. It is completely inexcusable and a deal breaker on all accounts.
Looks like she’s not only your girlfriend anymore
You don’t send shower pictures, vibrator or not, to a “friend”. A friend with benefits is what it’s sounds like.
You either continue, knowing that something either has or is going on with them, or you talk to her, or even go through messages she has sent him.
This isn’t ok and is crossing a HUGE LINE.
She obvs wanted you to see it, so she could be caught and dumped so she wouldn’t have to do it herself.
She’s cheating on you. I have never once seen a male and female friendship where one wasn’t attracted and actively hoping to get together with the other. Every time this is tested, it ends the same way. I’ve gotten into argument after argument over this, and again, once it’s tested, you can guess the outcome.
If she’s sending pictures in the shower, it’s cheating. Much less with a vibrator in the picture. And this is just the one that you accidentally seen. Imagine what you haven’t found?
I would bring it up and feel the vibe out. But, I suggest running away. Far away. Quickly.
Yeah no. This isn’t a friendship thing. This isn’t normal.
You are definitely not over thinking it.. I’m a woman and would never send a friend this kind of picture.. she has some explaining to do.. but do you really need answers..
She is cheating on you.. you found it odd how close they were, well now you know why…