In some countries they might only consider parents, grandparents and siblings family while in other it might be your great-aunts dogs nephew. What is your take on this?

17 comments

  2. If we’re family, we’re family. I invited my dad’s cousin’s daughter and her boyfriend to my wedding. I think she’s technically either my 3rd cousin or my second cousin once removed?

  3. Your grandparents and their siblings and in-laws.
    Your parents and their siblings, in-laws, and cousins.
    Your siblings, in-laws, and 1st & 2nd cousins.
    Your spouse and their siblings, in-laws, and cousins.
    Your offspring and their spouses.
    Your grandchildren and their spouses.
    Your great grandchildren.

  5. People can have extended family members who they see at regular events, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and important birthdays, but they maybe be distant cousins, maybe 3rd or whatnot. Sometimes that relationships stays in place because of similar ages, the people “get along,” but the actual relationship takes some thought to explain. Sometimes, the common ancestor never immigrated to the US, and the old people would explain, “we’re related across.” (Across meaning across the ocean, which might be a direct translation of an Italian phrase.) Then again, I have first cousins who are much older than me, that I’ve never met. (My father was the youngest in a large family and got married late in life.)

  6. I mean, it depends on the family and how close the family is. And what “family” means to you.

  7. If I know you and we’re related, we’re family.

    My parents have friends that I’ve known since I was a little kid. They’re like aunts and uncles to me. I consider them family as well. We’ve gone on trips together. We’ve gone to funerals together. We’ve gone to weddings together. There’s really no difference other than DNA.

  8. Unless they were purposely cut off, they’re family I’d say up to being descendants of your great great great grandparents. We have different levels of family: nuclear(parents & their children), close family(can include grandparents, aunts, uncles, first cousins, nieces, nephews, sometimes second cousins in addition to the nuclear family), extended family(anything from second cousins(assuming that you don’t count them as close) outward, great aunts and uncles, and everyone else not included in the first two categories)

    These categories are somewhat fluid. For example, a person who does not have a close relationship to their cousins might count them as extended not close.

    Edit: There are also some close friends, of myself or parents, who I would count as family. I also count in laws as family.

  9. Anyone who’s remotely related to me is family. But as far as “I’m inviting the whole family” goes, it’s my siblings, parents, aunts and uncles, first cousins, grandparents and other direct ancestors in that line still living, and the children and spouses of any of those people, plus my spouse’s version of any of the above. Add also people who have been given honorary status as any of the above. (For example, I have a number of step-siblings who are not legally or biologically connected to me in any way, but they’re definitely family.)

    I do still consider second cousins and the like to be family, but not necessarily close enough to chat with or invite to things on a regular basis.

  10. Yep, different cultures have different traditions. Here in the US, we have people from so many different backgrounds and beliefs that these things could be true for 2 siblings. One could be close to their great-aunts dogs nephew and the other could only consider that sibling.

    Bloodlines/heritage and what one ‘considers’ are two different things.

  11. It depends. Am I inviting people to a family event? I probably would not go beyond first cousins. Am I making a geneaology chart? I might include more distant relationships.

    In my family all of my grandparents were dead by the time I was 8 years old. I only knew one grandparent. I met a few great aunts and uncles but did not know them well. I knew all my parents’ siblings and my first cousins. Some of my cousins have kids but I only know the kids from one cousin. I know my nephews and nieces. Some of them have had children now but I do not know their kids. I do not have grandchildren yet. All of these people are family who I might see at a family event (if they are living).

    I do not know my second, third or fourth cousins. They are family but not what I think of when I say family. I probably would not see them at a family event.

  12. “Family” in my mind consists of the people descended from the oldest ancestors of mine who were living at a time of my life I can remember.

    So it includes second cousins on my paternal grandfather’s side, because I have living memory of my father’s father’s father, but that was my only still-living great-grandparent at the time I started having memories. On my mom’s side it’s only out to first cousins and their kids.

  14. I (40F) am the legal guardian of my 1/2 sisters grandsons.
    So my 1/2 great-nephews. I go to school events, and am their parent in most respects. (Their mom is my niece, and is an active participant in their lives, just couldn’t take care of them at the time)

    I have first cousins on my moms side that range from 32 to 70. Often my “cousins” that were my age were their children.

    My Oma was born in Austria, lost her first husband and baby daughter to the Nazis, loved me fiercely and spoiled me me rotten. Was the first person at the hospital the day I was born. My Oma was my dad’s ex-MIL and grandmother to my older 1/2 sisters. In fact she wasn’t even biologically related to them as she adopted their mother in Germany with her second husband. And she had a special dance with my maternal 1/2 brother (my moms son/dads stepson) at his wedding.

    Family is family!

  15. I have an extended family- cousins and second cousins and stuff- but we’re not close and I don’t think we could pick each other out of a lineup. (Unfortunately the cousins I *was* close with have mostly passed on.)

    They’re wedding-and-funeral level family, but not call-and-talk family.

    When I was younger, I was close with people out to the great-aunt/uncle level.

  17. You can have family who aren’t relatives, and you can have relatives who aren’t family. I’ve always said that relatives are who you’re born with, family are who you choose.

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