I (28M) have been married over a year to my beautiful wife (26F), she is easily the hottest girl I have ever been with. However our sex life is very vanilla, in the start I didn’t care about it because she has such a smoking body, I figured we’d be just fine, especially because the the first few times we had sex I used to struggle to last 5 minutes with her.
But now I’m kinda at a point where a few times I have gone soft while hitting it because there’s just , no dirty talk, no sloppy blow job, she doesn’t even like me going down on her. This is so different from what I had with my long time ex, everything was game with her and we really enjoyed our dirty sex life. I have hinted to the wife a few times about spicing things up a bit but I think she enjoys what we have and doesn’t want to change anything. I have come to a place now that I often turn her around and in my head imagine I’m fucking somebody else and that’s what gets me over the line. I hate this, has my ex ruined sex for me? That dirty dirty slut told me I’d miss her.
2 comments
Honestly just seems like a massive incompatibility. Your ex didn’t ruin you from sex, this sex obviously just isn’t what you enjoy. I think its a bit odd she isn’t willing to try something different, who knows she might like it as well. Maybe if you bought something home for you to try together she may be open to it. Otherwise i would seriously begin to question if she’s worth it to not be sexually satisfied.
Another person who thinks marriage will fix their poor sex life. Your ex didn’t ruin sex for you you just chose the wrong person to marry if you wanted to have a fulfilling sex life. There were plenty of women out there who could have matched that.
Not sure what to tell you but it’s highly unlikely anything will change with her (and will likely get worse when she has kids). It didn’t change before you got married so why would she bother after you’ve tied her down. You either deal with it or divorce and find someone more sexually compatible. I guess you need to determine how much of a problem this is for you. Keep regular vanilla sex but everything else in the relationship is good or go back to the well and hope you find someone who can match your sexual needs and all other aspects you want in a relationship.
Something tells me you are going to stick with the former and thats fine but you need to come to terms with what your sex life now is and that it will likely stay that way (and possibly decline).