I feel like I used to be a social butterfly when I was in high school, although I only had a handful of good friends then we stopped having similar interests so it became a struggle to hang out so after high school we went separate ways, after I used to go to parties, events etc and I always have this feeling of looking for something or someone and would have positive interactions often but it seldom ever feels like people want to get to know me so after feeling like I’m annoying people I let them know I’m going to wander and it was nice meeting them. I now feel so weird with most interactions because I feel like everyone looks at me like I’m weird because I’m eccentric no matter how normal I try to act. I make friends at work but those seldom last and now after being so awkward and occasionally being the person who struggles to make plans because sometimes I get overwhelmed because it feels 100% on me to figure everything out I feel anxious to reach out to the 2 friends I sorta have. Outside of my partner and my family I feel weird talking to people and I desperately crave connection…. sorry for the long description idk if it makes sense.
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i feel you! when i was younger i was very social and now it’s hard for me to make friends. i am not sure if it’s an age thing or something has changed. it’s not spontaneous for me to make friends anymore and i lost a few friends along the way as well
I don’t know if it’s any consolation, but you’re not alone, OP. There’s currently a “loneliness epidemic” in some (if not all) parts of the world. When I told my therapist I was feeling lonely for the first time in my life even though the number of people in it hasn’t really changed, she told me that was something she hears from people in my age group daily right now.
Craving platonic connections can make you feel like something’s missing, and when you can’t find it the way you used to, it’s easy to feel like something’s wrong with *you*. I also told my therapist I was a bizarre weirdo who can’t make friends.
The gist is: your situation is not uncommon and you are not a hard person to like or befriend. It just feels that way right now. The self-aggrandizing can bleed into interactions with others, so remind yourself that you are a likeable and worthy person, then consider which hobbies you might like to pursue in a group format or perhaps explore getting into.
Apps like Meetup are great for people who need to get out there and make some friends. Most of the people in these groups are feeling the same way and looking for the same things. If you have no idea where to start, consider things like free outdoor Yoga sessions, nature walks, beginner’s art/crafts/photography, writing groups, book clubs, hiking groups, etc.
I feel the same – I don’t know what to do (I already do social sport). So just know; you’re not alone!
Me too about wanting connections. being an adult is so much worse in every way.
I always did
I was always an introvert but when I was a kid I could communicate pretty well with people, but the older I get my social skills began to diminish. Dealing with bullying all the way up to high school impacted me when it comes to social interaction. I had to drop out of school in 10th because it got really bad for my mental health. I eventually did college online. This did not help my social life. I’m completely awkward around people and don’t know what to say. When I do try to speak to people it just falls flat. I’m a chronic homebody. I do feel lonely sometimes and other times I put it out my mind. I want friends, but they have to be meaningful relationships. I don’t want fair weather friends. I don’t want friendships with people I have to constantly reach out first all the time. I don’t necessarily need a lot of friends just a few good ones. It’s really hard nowadays to find good solid friends.