I’ve been talking with this one girl for a few weeks. Today I called to hear about her day, and she told me this:
Most of her friends are male, and she hangs out with them most nights. Last night they were all playing a drinking game. This game essentially was, if you laugh you take a shot. So, she’s playing with this guy and he’s not laughing at her jokes. Another dude in the room tells her it would make him laugh super hard if he “spits in her mouth”, to which she agreed and allowed. After this she mentioned that she was sober the entire time and did not do this because she was drunk, but because she thought it was funny.
She was telling me this over the phone and I’m like WTF, why are you telling me some dude is spitting in your mouth (in my head). I know I am in no position to tell her what to do, but what????? Why would you tell someone you’re interested in that?
How would yall respond?
30 comments
She couldn’t care less about you bro. But you can easily get laid if you’re cool with playing along and disrespecting her a bit. She’s obviously into it
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She’s an immature pick-me girl, sounds like. I feel sorry for her, she’s probably highly insecure. Back away, though. And maybe be honest in telling her why, that this story and her ease in sharing it because she thought it was “funny” even though she was totally being used by jerks (they’re not her friends, obviously) really turned you off and you’re not into it anymore. Not something you want to deal with. And just peace out. Hopefully she can learn sooner that she can choose not to be in those situations. Because one day she might end up in danger and not have a choice. I don’t wish that upon anyone.
Fuckin, yikes though dude. Back away from the mess.
I would feel turned off by this. I would probably not want to date her. But it doesn’t matter how I feel about it. You have to choose how you feel and what you want to do
Red flag. I would bail before it gets worse.
She is either testing you to see if you’ll accept her kink of spitting in each other’s mouths OR she’s trying to get you to run. But based upon levels of kink common, think this is the former. Would test by asking her how she feels about spitting in one another’s mouths during sex. Good luck OP:)
That its gross. Sounds immature & easily manipulated. Young Id guess
I think after typing this all out, you already knew the answer.
run for the hills buddy, run like theres no tomorrow
Bail bail bail 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Regardless of her reason, the question is whether you want such a person next to you. You can’t tell her what to do, but you can decide what to do yourself.
Dated a girl like this once, all her friends were guys.. I later found out she had slept with a lot of them and that i was suppose to be cool with her hanging out with them alone. Needless to say she told me I was insecure and manipulative when I didn’t like it…
It’s not that she’s testing you or anything bro, her view on what’s acceptable and what’s not is completely distorted and you’ll never reason with her, I’d recommend leaving before you get too emotionally attached
What??!!! Nahhhhhhhhh as a woman, I’m telling you, leave and don’t look back
That’s not behaviour that you’d expect from someone who should at the very least slightly care about you.
I think this experience saved you a lot of time and effort.
I’m sure I read this exact same thing a few months ago.
Ew.
Yikes
Adjust your expectations of her and her place in your life or just stop talking to her if your that disgusted.
If you stick it out and the two of you end up getting married, maybe you can all play this game together at your wedding. Wouldn’t that be lovely?
Wtf. You don’t have to “tell her what to do” in order to communicate that you’re turned off by this. Everyone’s into what they’re into, so you are also allowed to tell her you’re not into *this,* but you don’t have to tell her you think it’s disgusting.
Look, there are ultimatums and there are boundaries. An ultimatum would be “I don’t like this and if you don’t stop doing it I’m not going to date you anymore.” That’s controlling. But you are allowed to have boundaries and express that. “You are perfectly entitled to play whatever games you like with your friends, but this type of game crosses a line for me personally and I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating someone who does this.” An ultimatum is about controlling someone else. A boundary is sharing what you want for yourself.
After you express your boundary it’s up to her to decide if she wants to continue doing stuff like that, and if she does then you follow through by enforcing your boundary and no longer dating her.
Me? I’m not into. When I was younger I’d probably have just been shocked then ghosted her (conflict avoidance, inability to express boundaries, insecurity.) Now I’d probably be like, “I’m sorry, you did what now? I personally reserve swapping spit for someone I’m dating or in a relationship with. This isn’t something I’m comfortable with. Bye.” Not knowing what either of your attitudes is toward covid or getting sick, but I try really hard to avoid contagious illnesses (chronic pain and a deviated septum that needs fixing, flu is miserable). I can’t help but feel like the more people you have spit in your mouth the more likely you are to get sick or something…
Also, are you familiar with [Southpark’s Ookie Mouth Game?](https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/s7vdhv/south-park-ookie-mouth) I can’t stop thinking about this now.
This is kinda gross and I don’t think I would see that person again
Dude,
You’d be a fool to date this person. Move on.
Red flag
She would potentially do other “things” because she thought it was funny. And that’s sober, imagine being dead drunk lol
She’s probably immature or just got no boundaries
Only time I have ever spit in a girls mouth is during sex and then I came in her mouth… so think about that before you kiss her
I can’t tell you what to do but personally i would leave. It sounds to me she has started pushing boundaries. I do have a male friends on Facebook. Rarely meet up mainly at conventions. If my partner was ever uncomfortable i would do my best to reassure them. I would naturally probably text them throughout anyway. It sounds to me you don’t 100% trust her. Trust is important in a long term relationship.
Depends on what you’re looking for. I give her credit for being up front about how she spends her free time. Sounds like she’s looking for fun with different guys. Sounds like you’re looking for something a little more sane and exclusive. Probably best to part ways because you’re incompatible.
I would understand that she has no boundaries, and she’s triangulating you and treating you like a confidante, because she cannot be confident with her own self.
She lets people spit in her mouth, and then tells you about it, because she is unable to process how gross and humiliating that was. She wants validation that fawning will get her attention and love, and she wants to make you jealous, subconsciously, and congratulate herself, consciously, that being wild means having personal agency.
In fact, she had no personal agency, no self-respect, no respect for your feelings or your boundaries.
Why are you even talking to this girl lol, she’s for the streets.
Im a girl and I have guy friends and I do not and have not slept with any of them. Nor would I allow them to spit in my mouth as a joke. This sounds disgusting. As a woman this is not normal “friendly” behavior
She let another human spit in her mouth because she thought it was funny.
…
….I would have broken up with her as soon as she finished saying that. Eww
She is not that much interested in you telling you this.