I have been dating my partner for about four years now. Since the beginning of the relationship I’ve been the one paying for everything and being the only one with a car to get us back and forth. She’s been adamant from the start that she wants to make a clothing brand and sell her art but so far it’s not netted anything worthwhile. We recently moved to a big city with new jobs and even now she’s reluctant to find better work to help pay for things. I’ve been the one covering rent and basic necessities. She’s been working less and less and putting more time into this art and I’m left to struggle with the financial load. When I bring this up she says she would rather die than work a regular 9-5 that would not let her do her art. I’m at a crossroads where It feels like she’s just leeching off me and not putting back what I’m putting in. Is it wrong for me to think this way? Im thinking about ending it and moving on but I’m unsure.
TL;DR
Partner refuses to work more to help out and focuses on her art leaving me to recover everything financially. I’m thinking about ending it because I feel like it will never change.
5 comments
She was honest with you. You can only be mad at yourself. You showed up as a traditional man ok with what she wants — and suddenly want to change that — only bad side is what is she doing to further that aside from feeling like a. Imposter or clueless… that’s on her.
If you are feeling burdened, talk about the situation and that you are actually not that type of man and see if she’s willing to change things.
i think you should end it too. her plans don’t sound very realistic and you’ve already been extremely generous. it’s not fair for you to provide for your girlfriend, you’re both young and you deserve to have a partner that contributes in practical ways that also meet your needs.
It’s great that she has a passion and is pursuing that … but when you bring up your opinion and her immediate reaction is to defend herself and make it all about her , not you or “us” seems very selfish to me. Not a partner and this is not a partnership. If she’s unwilling to compromise or work with you on finding a solution I’d be gone. Your goals and hobbies and passions matter too op.
>she says she would rather die than work a regular 9-5
Guess it’s time for her to put her money where her mouth is.
She’s been extremely privileged that you have paid for everything, so that she can indulge herself, while you’re the only grown up in the relationship. Everyone works a crappy job they don’t like at some point, because that is just what you have to do as an adult. Your relationship should be a partnership, where you both support each other (financially, emotionally etc). When you’re telling her that you’re struggling and she just doesn’t care, you know you aren’t a team.
I don’t have to read further than the headline — if you’re calling your own girlfriend a “leech,” you need to not be dating her because you don’t respect her. For both your sakes, break up.