My (25F) now fiancé (M25) and his ex gf dated for a year or so and then ended because she cheated on him
My thing is. Me and his ex share the same hobby, riding horses. And i wanted to get back into it and do it again. But i know he has so many memories with her doing it.
And it makes me totally disown the idea of even doing something i was into and grew up around all my life just because “he might think of her or a memory when he was riding horses with her”
TL:DR I also have not talked to him about my feelings yet and i don’t know what to do
5 comments
You share more things with the ex than you realise. You eat food, you sleep, you go to the toilet (you get the drift). Are you going to stop eating in front of him because she used to do that? Sleep? Who needs sleep, right? Better get used to crossing your legs because she used to go to the bathroom.
Seriously, don’t make a thing out of this. And if he makes a thing out of this, he’s probably not the kind of person you want in your life.
He’s (hopefully) not a baby, he should be able to handle your horse hobby without issue. It’s frankly very concerning that you even have the impulse to baby him like this, you may want to reflect on that.
I hate to break it to you but as a human being you guys have more in common then riding horses. There will be things that happen that could spark a memory of her, and that’s okay if it does. It’s life. You are making her a part of your relationship for no reason.
Genghis Khan dissaproves this post.
Seriously, everyone has a history (which presumably includes stuff like making love to), but mature adults take lessons from activities and leave the rest of the past in the **past**
If he has a morsel of emotional maturity/relationship respect (and he should at 25), he’d wipe the slate clean for you (outside of boundaries of course) when your relationship started for you two to make memories of your own wherever that takes you.
When he got with you, he should’ve gotten over her. If he’s now your fiance and hasn’t, bye bye. Not to mention, riding horses isn’t some obscure, tight-circled hobby where you and the ex would be likely to awkwardly intertwine unlike say if you went to local Magic the Gathering tournaments.
Are you worried about him having memories of her and being upset, or about him having memories if her and you being upset about that?