What are the two biggest lessons you’ve learned from previous relationships?

42 comments

  2. Don’t turn into something you’re not just to please a woman. Eventually you’ll find someone who likes you for who you are. Sounds too basic, I know, but it’s said for a reason.

  5. Don’t date someone thinking you can force attraction. I tried and I lost a friend. I didn’t like her in that way but I thought I could force attraction.

  6. Never date a woman right after she comes out of a relationship. You’re only a rebound/ emotional comfort bandaid.
    Don’t lose your self in a relationship. No trying to please your partner and putting yourself last.

  7. 1. No point in running after a woman if she already has made her mind up. You’re just gonna hurt yourself.

    2. Communication is key but physically showing you’re making efforts to change something that may make the relationship a deal breaker in the long term is way more important.

  9. Your mental health is as important as the relationship’s health.

    Communication means nothing without comprehension and forgiveness, “I’m sorry” isn’t better than “I understand”

  10. If they’re struggling with their mental health, make sure they’re actually taking proper steps to take care of their issues. Once they start using things like astrology and self help as a crutch either put your foot down or leave.

  11. lesson 1: If she is truly interested in you she will want to spend time with you and will constantly talk to you.

    lesson 2: Don’t let people use you.

  12. Avoid people who love bomb like the plague. It’s an early sign of terrible things to come. The harder one to accept is that you can be in love with someone, and the relationship can still not work out. You can do everything right and still lose.

  13. No matter how much somebody claims to love you, tomorrow you could mean nothing to them.

  14. Don’t force it. If your first instinct is that it isn’t going to work. It probably won’t work.

  15. Communication is so important. Constant, honest, sometimes raw communication is a huge factor in a successful relationship. But it has to be done with respect.

    Part of the reason our marriage is so great is we both know we can talk honestly about how we feel about anything

  17. 1) Relationships require work…BUT if it FEELS like work, something is probably wrong.

    2) That “little voice” in the back of your head that tells you when something isn’t right, is usually right.

    Bonus lesson: People typically assume that everyone else plays by the same “rules” that they themselves do, which can give you a LOT of information about them, as well as how to manage problems when they arise. Example: trusting people are usually trustworthy, whereas suspicious people often have something to hide themselves. People often will accuse you of doing that which they themselves would have done in your situation. It’s not universal, but it can help you avoid an awful lot of drama.

  19. Never do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing. Even if it makes the relationship difficult. If someone really loves you they will not force you into doing anything you don’t want to do….such as rushing into marriage. But there are other examples as well, but one person guilting someone else into marrying them is one of the more common things in relationships.

  20. The two biggest lessons I’ve learned from past relationships are: First, communication is key. It’s not just about talking, but also actively listening and understanding your partner’s perspective. Second, maintaining individuality is crucial. It’s important to support each other’s growth and have personal space and interests outside the relationship.

  21. 1. Never assume this person won’t hurt you. You never really know anyone. You only know what they are showing you.

    2. Never let yourself become emotionally dependent on anyone. Remember to keep a balance.

  23. If a relationship spikes your blood pressure regularly, it is not a good relationship.

    Don’t change who you are.

  25. Communication is the absolute most important thing. It builds trust and intimacy.

    And, I will NEVER sacrifice sexually again. Either we are both on the same page sexually (frequency, kinks, compromise, birth control) or we are not compatible!

  28. See how she treats her best friends. You think she is unfair or bad in that relationship? Buckle up your next.

  29. choose your battles wisely. not every little thing that bothers you need to get brought up or criticised. communicate honestly and openly about the bigger things. be willing to hear their point of view fully.

  31. Don’t get complacent. Never stop trying to impress them, within reason of course.

    And yeah. All the promises, vows, and declarations of love in the world… all of the inside jokes and funny memories… the comfort and security of your relationship? It’s fragile.

  32. Don’t love them based on their potential. If you love someone, you must love and try to accept everything about her at her present self.

  34. People are immature and selfish and dishonest about their true feelings out of fear of being vulnerable and hurt

  35. There’s so many but you asked for two:
    1. Be willing to compromise but if you have misgivings about something then speak up – captain hindsight never wins the day.
    2. People need different things in relationships and it’s not abnormal for two people to need entirely different things from one another and still be satisfied. Think love languages.

  36. 1. Be very clear with yourself about your boundaries. And then…

    2. Be very clear with them about your boundaries.

    This in important in ALL relationships, including with your parents and siblings and with your employers

    It’s especially important in cross cultural relationship. Don’t cut them slack because they are from a different culture. If they disrespect your boundaries that’s not about their culture, it’s about their personality and behaviour.

    There is no excuse for someone treating you badly and taking advantage of your good nature. Fooled me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me.

  37. its funny to me that this post asks for two.

    my biggest is that no matter how well you think you know someone, or how strongly you feel – never put your peace or happiness in to someone else’s hands.

    next is – if you fashion yourself as someone who isn’t jealous – and something comes up to where you have to remind yourself you don’t get jealous – somethings up.

  38. The more she likes/loves you, the more sensitive she is to the words you say. No matter how tough and independent she is.

    Also if she telling you ever single thing about her day everyday, she loves you. If she stopped, you either fucked up, are having sex, or she is a sleep.

  39. 1: When woman say they want their man to be more in touch with his emotions what they really mean it is they want men to be more in touch with her emotions.

    2: Men are addicted to sex. Woman are addicted to limerence-or the feeling of falling in “love”. Problem is there is a big difference between “being in love” and actually loving somebody.

  40. If you’re confused, then she’s not into you. When someone’s into you there is no confusion about it.

    You can’t expect someone else to love you if you can’t love yourself first

  42. If you love a woman tell her you love her. Also act on it. Be affectionate.

    If you can do small things to seduce her, do it every time. Buy lingerie, buy flowers, cook for her. Buy her fancy cakes.
    If she mentioned she like monkfish, go and buy monkfish for her. If she said she likes jazz concertes go and buy tickets.
    (Yes those are actual real life examples)

    A relationship isn’t build on big things you do once in a while. It’s the small things you do everyday.

    Try and be better.

    In bed : be good, giving and game.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like