Every single time my boyfriend and i go out, he complains about money and prices. He says that everything is expensive and complains about it to employees. He tries to get a discount for everything. For example, he was trying to get a discount for snacks at the movies, which was like $10 dollars max. Mind you, he has a full time job and lives at home/doesn’t pay any bills.
I agree that things are super expensive but i don’t talk about it 24/7 and i always suggest staying in to save money, but he insists on going out, and then proceeds to complain about how much whatever activity we do costs.
How should i handle this situation?
Tldr: boyfriend constantly complains about prices when we go out, yet declines my offer to stay in to save money.
18 comments
i mean, he’s not wrong.
here’s my advice:
1. obvious “have you communicated this with him?” doesnt sound like you have. and no, “lol stop complaining its annoying” is not communicating. you really have to sit down with him (right time, right place) and go like “yeah these past 3 years have been hard on all of us, me too. (affirmation and confirmation). When i spend time with you, my boyfriend, i am looking forward to have a good time and for a brief moment, forget about how this shitty economy. Therefore, it’s kind of dragging me down hearing rants about how expensive everything is. I just wanna have a good time with you. Do you think you can agree you’ve been very vocal about this? Is there a way we can solve this? What are your thoughts”. You’re adults. So start acting like it.
2. who’s paying when you go out? him only? you two? you only? if it’s him, maybe he’s low-key trying to tell you he’s tired of paying so much.
3. make a budget and plan your “life” (dates/trips, bills, groceries, ordering food…) better. Its common that money goes down the drain when you spend it on unnecessary things. Think of “buying 3 packs of doritos for 10 bucks” vs. “buying a bag of rice, chicken, broccoli, bag of onions and potatoes for 10 bucks” – which will probably make you 4 meals.
4. make a fun game/challenge. twice a month, he plans a date/trip, then you. the goal is to have as much fun as possible with as little money as possible.
Backing up previous poster, he might just be complaining about the economy because he’s just like that, and doesn’t realise he’s reducing your enjoyment of the time you spend together. Tell him it takes away from your enjoyment and start correcting him if he forgets about it.
See, it’s one thing to feel like things are expensive and to have anxiety about that. But badgering employees, who have no power in pricing, is rude and uncomfortable and crosses a line to me. That is taking either some anxiety or just miserliness out on someone else. Which…he also does to you. The comments are a way of guilting you for wanting to do things. You even offer not to go, but he goes and then he gets to complain about it.
How long have you been dating? I’d find this type of thing so exhausting and I’m curious if it’s just one example of other behavior like this.
First of all you need a serious talk about it (why does he complain? Tell him how you feel. How can you both consider each other regarding this topic?).
Maybe even set boundaries how much you both are allowed to spend money (on certain objects even?).
Try meeting in the middle and figure out a compromise which works for both of you – so spending money won’t be a problem anymore & your boyfriend won’t complain about it.
Good luck. 🍀
I am your boyfriend. The best thing to do is to have an open and honest relationship with him. Try and understand where he’s coming from. I have a full time job and yea, I dont wanna flush it down the drain – I would like to retire one day.
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Newer generations fail to think about the future. Mostly due to the abundant supply of expensive credit.
He sounds like a drag
How often do you pay for dates when going out? Is a lot of the financial burden of this relationship falling on him?
Question!?!
Are you paying for your half or is he paying for both you and him.
If you’re not paying why are you complaining? Lol
YOU DONT WANT HIM AS A HUSBAND, HE WILL BE A MILLION TIMES WORSE.
Break up
Ugh id be so exhausted being with someone like this. Why does he think he can bargain over things that you cant bargain over? When i worked in retail i loathed when people would arbitrarily haggle. I dont have control over the price my big box company dictates, leave me alone.
Anyways yeah, number 1, talk to him about it. If the snacks at the theatre are too expensive he doesnt have to buy them – and maybe you can solution towards sneaking your own snacks in. I think budgeting before hand might be a good idea for any outing. Or, what id do is suggest staying in for a night-in (movie, video games) if he insists, then bring up how he seems to always complain about the cost.
It’s simple really, the guy wants to go out with you and spend time with you but is slapped in the face with how expensive everything is, we live in a controlled society by satanic oligarchies that want nothing but to line there pockets. So why don’t you help him out like my lady does and never bats an eye when she helps me out with finance. If you’re still complaining then go find you a rich snob that will never complain about the ass fucking ridiculous prices these satanic oligarchies are pushing on people. $45 for a t-shirt that cost $1.00 to make in Vietnam inside a sweatshop? You have to be an intelligent person to complain about our corrupt economy.
How I’d handle it?
Him: Babe let’s go out to the movies!
Me: No. Every time we do, you complain about prices and try to haggle employees that are just trying to do their job. It takes the enjoyment out of it for me, it also embarrasses me a lot. I’m not ok with this type of behaviour when we go places.
Direct. And if he keeps doing it, ask yourself if you see yourself doing this long term. Because if he’s unwilling to stop, you know what it will be like.
Paying for everything likely wouldn’t stop his complaints if he has to pay for anything he gets himself at any point. So.. just be direct about this.
Why go out if it’s more than he can afford?
What an embarrassment your boyfriend is. Why are you still dating him? What a downer. That’s not someone you want to build a life with, you’ll be paying the lion’s share of everything, while he hoards his money. There is no future with someone like this.
Do you pay when you guys go out?
He’s probably genuinely worried about spending too much but also doesn’t want to seem like a “loser” who can’t take his gf out.. Does he usually pay for everything when you guys go out?
$10 for snacks at the movies? I don’t believe it! That’s at least $20, hands down! Anyhow, he really has no complaint ; you offer to stay in but he insists on going out despite the costs. Yes, things are expensive as inflation has been out of control the past few years. And he lives at home and pays no bills. Maybe he needs some training in budgeting and money management. I understand not wanting to spend beyond one’s means but not spending anything is not realistic.