Lol this is gonna sound funny. But please bear with me and help me.
I’m (22F) that just recently lost her virginity a week ago with (25M).
Our first time was bad! Like honestly it felt like he also didn’t know wtf he was doing. And I was nervous too, all we did was missionary. BOTH OF US DID NOT COME.
Today we had sex again. We tried three things, I sucked his dick, then we did missionary and then I was riding him. He said he liked the way I sucked his dick and it got him real hard. After a bit of missionary I got on top and he kept saying ‘oh my god my cock is yours’ and after a bit of riding he said ‘I think I came’. For me the riding was slightly painful and I’m still sore but I tried lol. So I got off. I read that when riding I have to focus on ‘up and down’ and ‘in and out’ rather than grinding on it and that’s what I tried to do (not sure if it was correct though!)
He popped off the condom and went to the toilet, I looked into the condom and it was empty?????
Why would he lie about that? I asked him to communicate on what I can do better and he said everything is fine? Like if everything was fine we’d both be satisfied 🤩 but neither of us came again. Him not coming TWICE is making me really anxious and insecure about myself, and I wanted him to take the lead because it’s only my second time…..
Some updates:
– he is HUNGOVER both times
– he does want to meet again though
– I’m still shy and clueless and he’s not communicating on how I can do better and says everything is ‘fine’
– at some point he was like ‘are u trying to break my dick’ but I didn’t think much of it haha…
13 comments
You are fine!
Also look. Orgasm isn’t even the point, okay? It is common that the first few times having sex won’t be a minty blast of pleasure.
The more you have sex, the more your bodies will get used to having sex, and the more enjoyable it will feel. Trust me — the first few times you have sex does NOT set the tone for the rest of your sex life.
And while we’re talking about cumming, absolutely do not pressure your partner or yourself to have an orgasm. First of all, this just isn’t realistic. And it just causes pressure and stress that just doesn’t have to be there.
He is probably just a bit ashamed that he didn’t come, also maybe he feels some pressure from you. Maybe he got soft and didn’t know how to tell you or he masturbated shortly before and is not ready for second go. Might be that he doesn’t have much experience or he really wants to impress you. Don’t pressure him, don’t focus on that and just enjoy sex. Sometimes when guys are stressed it may impact their ability to stay hard. I find that guys come quite fast in doggy so it’s often a good ‘rescue’ position. Also often second time in a short time span wouldn’t end up in him coming, so dont get frustrated about it.
As for you coming – most women don’t come by PIV, so try to either play with yourself, when he f.ex. sucks your nipples or ask him to go down on you.
Nerves yo. You’re both fine. Practice makes perfect! Don’t over think it, and keep the communication going. Try to make it fun and funny sometimes too. Sex can be very serious, intimate, and passionate…but it can also be goofy, obnoxious and fun!
Literally same situation. If he’s anything like me he prolly feels really bad about not cumming for you. You’ll find out eventually what you like and it will be better. I’ve only done it twice though so kinda at the same stage.
I think the situation is fine! It just needs some time because you both have not that much of experience. You will have fun eventually lol
Riding doesn’t have to be up and down. It can be grinding. Grinding means you can stimulate yourself and sometimes that’s hotter for the guy. Generally, it’s hot when partner is enjoying it. Depends on him though.
Tell him to lay off the alcohol if he is going to have sex with you. Alcohol is a downer so he is probably not able to concentrate or not all the way there mentally. Men don’t need alcohol to bang.
My ex was really nervous when we had sex the first few times and didn’t cum. I did ask if there was anything particular I could do, but other than that I left it. It’s totally normal, particularly if alcohol is involved! I know that when I’m drinking/hungover, you could headbutt me down there and I wouldn’t realise 😅
If you mention it regularly, he’ll get up inside his own head even more. I suggest focusing on your own pleasure, which is always a turn on for a partner you’re close to. As you’re going, you can ask him a few times “do you like that?” and “what can I do for you?” Don’t worry too much about him, you’re not a mind reader so unless he tells you specifically what he likes, you go and get yours!
It’s depends off a day sometimes it’s happen don’t focus about that just enjoy
Baby believe me He Will Cum! Hump him, suck him, hell even lick him! 💦🍆❤️🤯
Slow down, spend more time, massage each other more, play more, communicate more during, ask, tell, try out different things,, you will do great! No worries!
Alcohol is not helping him that’s for sure, a glass of wine may help you thou, just don’t make a habit of it 😉 I’m sure he feels as bad as you or even worse for not giving you an orgasm. Take it slow, tell him how you feel, stress and pressure are not helping you both.
And lastly, long periods of masturbation sometimes makes it hard for us (men) to come in real sex, it’s both physical and mental barrier. If he’s hard till the end it’s not that bad, there are few positions that are more stimulating for him than others: standing – from behind and you lying on a bed face down. Other than that you can also try masturbating each other, don’t force it after a month or two it will get back to normal, be patient.
Don’t forget about your pleasure, without it he won’t have a good time either no matter if he comes or not.
Very real possibility he isn’t any more experienced than you are, if you’ve looked at any recent study or survey on sex and relationships. He’s probably just as anxious about not getting you off as you are about not getting him off. Or he’s anxious about not getting off for you because he feels like he’s letting you down by not finishing. Or he’s anxious about being just as clueless about sex as you are. Etc.
As others have said already, the point of sex isn’t an orgasm per se. Sure, it’s part of the fun. Sure, it’s nice to finish with one. But it’s not the whole thing. Sex is about the totality of the experience. It’s enjoying each other’s bodies, it’s physically and (usually) emotionally connecting, it’s about the journey as much as the destination. Take your time to explore. Take your time to talk a little about your feelings, desires, insecurities. You’re not in a rush, there’s no race to become immediate experts, so relax and just enjoy the moment.