Hello, so I’m having a lot of internal conflict
I have been dating this guy M/22 for over a year. I’m 22/F. In the beginning of our relationship, it was really good, but recently, a major thing happened (court) and he’s been struggling both mentally and financially. It’s been about 6 months, and I have been extremely supportive, but it feels like he doesn’t put a lot of effort into our relationship. It seemed to worse after having arguments when i found out he was texting a friend that was a girl and i wasn’t aware of it and then (with the same girl) after being intimate with each other he was messaging that girl. Though I was hurt and he said that he didn’t intend for me to feel that way and didn’t want to stop talking to his friends, all asked was for him to consider when he talks to his friends that are girls. Which I think is reasonable. The problem is that I have thoughts of what their conversations looked like. I never saw the messages and didn’t snoop through his phone. But he doesn’t like grabbing his phone because “I’m just trying to find something” which is not the case and we don’t really have conversations, like good conversations because “he doesn’t know what to talk about”. I did bring this up to him and mentioned how I feel that we’ve become distant and asked if he is hiding anything from me, which he said he isn’t. In regards to the distant feeling, we said we will try but he does mention how his mind is going to other places (the court and other problems) which I understand but I dont believe that means that you grow apart in a relationship. He does mention that financially, it is harder to go out. However, I am doing better financially, and I really don’t mind paying for things. I keep having thoughts that he is talking to someone (which he says he isn’t) or that he isn’t interested in me anymore. I’m stuck between waiting it out or breaking it off, but I feel like because of personal issues, once it’s over with, we go back to working on the relationship. But at the moment, I feel like I’m putting in all the work and effort, and he isn’t. Which is why I’m not sure what to do.
Any advice will help 🙂