Young men, is it condescending to be called “mister” or “sir” by older folks?
I just watched a video where the person talked about addressing a waiter as “sir” out of respect, but then he added: “now that I’m 37, can it come off condescending?”
I thought back to my first job out of college when older coworkers would sometimes address me as “doctor.” Coming from someone with much more experience, it felt like they were calling me a smartass or a “know it all,” and I thought the implication was a reminder of my place in the hierarchy.
So I wanted to ask particularly the young men, how do you feel when being addressed by honorifics like these from older folks?
31 comments
It’s weird.
I don’t see it as condescending
Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
Short answer? It’s weird but customary at some places.
Full answer? I’m 43 now & Asian. When I was 18, my dad hooked me up w/ an internship at an advertising biz before college & I had a couple of people working under me. They used to “sir” me all the time as it’s the custom to do that. I finally managed to soften the use of “sir” to a word similar to “brother”.
39 soon and when people address me as Sir I wanna correct them and tell them that Sir is my dad. Weird,huh ?
Most don’t care.
Eh, it’s no big deal. Having done martial arts for a few years, it’s just a respectful way of addressing people.
Never encountered it, such formality is very rare in my country. Honorifics as such is more or less dead here. Haven’t been used for decades.
Well, personally I don’t give a flying fuck if someone calls me mister or sir. As long as they’re not calling me an asshole, I’m good with it. But hey, that’s just my two cents. Some guys might get all worked up about it and feel like their manhood is being questioned or some shit. We’re all different little snowflakes, ya know?
Dgaf
What are they supposed to call me, Slagathor?
Take it in the spirit it’s given, why would it be condescending unless tone states otherwise?
If anyone called me sir I’d assume they were putting distance between us. I would want anything to do with them.
Far better than uncle
In a work environment not a problem, with family or friends I would actually be offended, as sir
/mister or in my language U/meneer, is in my opinion only used with ppl you don’t know or have no personal relationship with, it creates a distance between ppl.
I’d make sure to reply in kind. An older individual calling me sir or mister signifies nothing but respect.
I don’t mind saying ‘sir’ to the guy calling me ‘boss’
Way better than “boy” from people younger. :p
No problem at all. Sir goes both ways. It can be used to refer to a man of any age.
I hate being called sir. Everyone I have ever met who insisted on being called sir, was a completely power hungry asshole.
A college kid who lived in my building called me “sir” in the laundry room a while back. I’m 31, but I feel like I immediately aged ten years when he did that.
“Mister” or “Sir” is fine, but “Bud” is condescending af.
I hate being called champ or buddy.. everything else is welcomed
I was traveling with one of my aunts back when I must’ve been 25 and she was giving me a hard time because a flight attendant called me “sir” and I apparently sat up straighter and stiffened my back in reaction lol.
Honestly, I don’t think much of it any more. I’ve gotten it a lot professionally ever since I got my license at 26 and had the associated honorifics in all my correspondence. Outside of work though, I’ve actually gotten it more so from women younger than me or my own age (28M for reference). Found part of it was regional- got it a lot more in the American South, or situational. Like I’d gone to restaurants and bars with my ex in the past or on dates now, and I find I’m more likely to get mister/sir if I’m with a woman than by myself. Still remember waiting for my ex on a trip to Charleston, went to a brewery while she was doing her thing in the hotel room and the girl running the bar was being really warm and flirty, then my ex walks in and immediately she starts calling me “sir” and acting super formal.
Not sure why anyone would take offense unless it’s said in an offensive way.
Doesn’t bother me at all
I find it condescending and rude to be called “Young Man” by older people. Never bothered me at all being called Sir or Mr.
It’s a term of respect. If you take issue with it, it’s a personal problem as demonstrated by both of your comment examples.
Stuff like this really shouldn’t bother anyone
Most time I hear “sir” on the street, someone is trying to ask me for money or to do something for them.
I instinctively ignore “sir” when I hear it on the street and assume they are talking to someone other than me.
Come on, man, I work for a living